The First Land Herald/449-01-14

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Article Number: 84
Dateline: 449-01-14
A SPOTLIGHT ON KRENZE, GOBLIN PYROMANCER

Krenze the goblin was a pyromaniac, warlord, and terror to both Zoluren and Therengia. It is my hope that this article will chronicle his story.

When he first rose to notoriety, it was through a series of fiery attacks on the city of the Crossing. Ruby moongates opened with fireballs flying through their maws, setting fire to everything and everyone in the vicinity. Krenze, wielding a throwing hammer of flame, summoned his army of goblin berserkers and set them loose. Citizens defended the city.

However, after reading through notes of other adventurers and reporters, I couldn’t help but notice a contrast to Krenze’s usually violent and dangerous nature. I found myself picturing him as a rather well-spoken goblin surrounded by adoring fans, or groupies -- as he called them. Urbaj shared the opinion that Krenze seemed more Bard than Warrior Mage.

The duality was fascinating when he tried this friendlier approach. Boasting a flame-boyant panache, the goblin warlord appeared to fit in with certain crowds. I personally witnessed his charisma lulling folks into forgetting -- if only briefly -- his fondness for invading our cities and burning everything to the ground. This admittedly sometimes charming Krenze was indeed a villain, a bad guy, but not necessarily a "bad" guy.

At one point Krenze met with a group of adventurers. He began with a short story on how he came to love fire and being a Warrior Mage. He went on to issue an ultimatum.

Krenze said, "And then I was bored, so I decided, you know what's better than sitting around casting rocks at wildlife? Probably burning things. But mostly, I noticed a few things that you have that I wanted.” He paused for effect. “So. Here's the thing. You have two volcanos you're not using. I want one. So. You have about four, maybe six weeks to make up your mind. One volcano, one dragon, or I probably set more stuff on fire."

He added, “Really, you have until I get bored."

Later, when given a platform from which to speak, Krenze continued his friendly demeanor. He regaled captive audiences with quips, accepting an occasional offer of snacks or gifts, all while ever seeking deeds for land with volcanos.

At one point, I learned of a formal interview with Krenze, hosted by Amailia. I sought out a witness. Mother Jaelia was present at the encounter, and by her account, many were upset with the choice to give him the chance to speak at all. Though not everyone approved, Jaelia felt it was important that the chance be given, despite her personal feelings about Krenze. "We aren't his fans or supporters. It is a unique chance, and we understand if you want to fight... but sometimes, different things work too." She maintains he provided valuable information, and it led to useful introspection.

Although he was not a king, nor a prince, he was in a leadership role as warlord to his fellow goblins, and Mother Jaelia thought that he took advantage of the loyalty of his brethren, considering he senselessly sacrificed those of his own race for his cause. She also described him as short of attention, resorting to attacks when he was bored. Jaelia believes that we learned from him, at the cost of him learning from us. She referred to herself as a goblin "sympathizer" whose primary interest lay with the common goblins under his command.

When asked what she felt was learned, Mother Jaelia said, "He seemed decent if not demanding." While he said he would stop invading if he acquired the volcano, would he really? Or would he just blame the volcano? No one really knew at the time.

Mother Jaelia acted as somewhat of a diplomat, honing in on her belief that as a goblin, he simply viewed the world very differently than we do. A goblin is a much more primitive and impulsive creature. Perhaps Krenze just "desired a volcano and a dragon because he saw other races with them, especially other mages with dragon-like familiars." She wondered what would become of Puppee the hyena, Krenze’s familiar, whom many people seemed to adore more than Krenze himself.

Krenze was, at one point, heard firing off his own playful puns on the gwethdesuan, comparing volcanoes to canoes and touting his capability to create his own with relative ease by burning a canoe seller to see if it makes a volcano. He suggested that people are too huggy, and, ironically, in need of too much attention. His musings were followed by taunts that led some adventurers up the side of the Greater Fist, only to find Krenze disappearing down a crenellation as soon as everyone arrived, teasing that he was not giving out hugs that day.

In between battles, the keen-eyed shopper might have spotted a store named “Goblin Treats” nestled among the tents and pavilions of the most recent Hollow Eve fairgrounds. For sale were cookies and crackers of defaced Humans, likely Zoluren nobility, delicious molten lava cakes, and seven original oil paintings of fire and brimstone, candy mountains, and Krenze's beloved hyena familiar -- all named and signed by Krenze himself. The value of his art may have since increased due to his recent (supposed) demise.

The final showdown, and possibly the last of Krenze’s threat to society, began unexpectedly in the midst of the World Jousting Tournament. While he'd mentioned hosting a Fistful of Snacks party, it wasn't supposed to happen until the following night.

There was a faint rumbling as shockwaves rippled from the Greater Fist. At the peak of the dormant volcano, a bright yellow cloud could be observed as magma slowly filled the caldera. The Greater Fist had become active! Krenze acknowledged this moment of chaos on the gwethdesuan while preparing for his upcoming reverie, vaguely explaining that a lot can go wrong with "baking."

Those who went to investigate found the footpath to the top blocked by a regiment of goblins in large numbers, an estimated many hundreds to a thousand. They were accompanied by lava golems and drakes, ember bulls, scavenger giants, and swarms of fire sprites. Thick, smoke-filled air savaged the lungs, causing coughing fits and internal wounds, and blazing droplets of fire fell from a pyroclastic ash cloud above.

I believe the first to respond was the Northern Watch, who were there when I arrived and had already cut a significant swathe through the goblin force. The group appeared to be scouting the area and strategizing the best combat techniques under such ruthless conditions.

Above the volcano's summit, torrents of enchanted flames cascaded down, painting the sky with a fiery dance. The air crackled with heat as droplets of flame impacted the ground, echoing across the caldera in a symphony of elemental might. All observations indicated this was a particularly powerful storm of fire rain that could not be avoided or dodged if one tarried too long in its vicinity.

We urged caution that upon feeling the storm’s heat, one must move a decent distance away immediately and seek out a safer area until the cloud focused on a fresh target. Should any of the showers of blazing flame-like droplets begin to land directly on a person's body, they would be badly injured or worse.

Among the fray that night, I noted the following people: Coethi, Allye, Mazrian, Sir Madigan, Dantia, Sozinho, Father Harsh, Jindala, Timorias, Father Maintain, Rhorgul, Salvitoriel, Lycidylia, Lanikarou, Tathalus, and one Shuya who announced his solo arrival by calling himself an army. Apologies if I missed anyone, as it was difficult to see through all the smoke.

The next evening, the one formally announced as the time and date of the “bake-off” at Krenze’s Fistful of Snacks Party, several folks were gated to the top of the crater while others found themselves blockaded yet again by the goblin companies at the path beneath the mountain. Those who made it through were not without trials as they had to figure and fight their way into a fortress Krenze had constructed above the clouds. While the moongate was open, Krenze took advantage of the opportunity to also send even more of his squads through to invade the city of Crossing, unleashing chaos everywhere, above and below.

Kaldean Lunari admitted to opening the moongate. He gave the following statement to the Herald:

“Hindsight offers a degree of clarity, and the opportunity to reflect when one’s actions go remarkably awry. One of my guiding statements has been, ‘Act wisely, but do not fail to act.’ In the moment, I neglected to add wisdom to my actions. Invaders came through the very moongate intended to usher our forces to the fiery battlefield. Thankfully, the quick thinking of Zoluren-based adventurers curtailed what otherwise would have been a disaster. I appreciate the grace shown by others as I’ve made a concerted effort to make up for the damage caused in the wake of that incident. May wisdom prevail in the future.”

According to Allye, those at the top dug their way through debris to reach the wall of the fortress, all with the risk of being hit by archers with flaming arrows. Finally inside, the group moved through a series of areas unsure of whether they were on the inside or outside of a construct-type contraption. They eventually reached a chamber that resembled the head of a giant dragon-like creature, finding Krenze there.

[A black-inked sketch is inserted between paragraphs, illustrating darkened igneous rock streaked with metallic veins. Molten rock clings to the walls with faint striations of still-cooling lava. Ridged lava flows lead upward toward the esophagus of the dragon-like beast, providing a means to climb out of the maw. In the center of what would be the diaphragm, a single pillar of obsidian extrudes into a sphere, and a pattern of dim runes is carved into its surface.]

Krenze's voice reverberated across the cyclopean chamber of the lava drake's interior, filling the cavern of cooling stone such that the goblin's speech appeared to come from every direction at once. Atop a single pillar in its center, a smooth sphere with dormant runes stood ominously, the goblin's hand comfortably resting upon it.

In the darkness, his voice was heard saying, "So, Koala Man gave me a great idea. See, he told me you found a way into another plane. So, I figured, there's gotta be one for fire, right? Why not make my own rift with burning and fire and all of the best parts of a party all at once, and use it to make sure this big ol' drake can breathe fire when I launch it? All I got to do is..."

Revealing the idea was cut short when Krenze found himself engaged in a fight. Tathalus landed a killing blow to the goblin, which was celebrated too quickly. Krenze's corpse burned into a fine pile of ash, before the outline of a flame expanded from his body. He was restored from death, and a cackle caused his mouth to shape into a wicked grin. His eyes burned like a flame. "Alive again," he said and stood back up.

In the midst of further advances, he coughed out, "You can't fight the fire." He staggered toward the mysterious rift he was still able to create despite being the throes of death. With a gesture, he widened it, and as he approached, his form appeared to distort and twist, his fingers lengthened like talons that quivered and flickered. He stood at the entrance to the rift and conjured flame that wrapped around his tiny body. Krenze said, "And now, you're all going to join me in joyous flame."

The surrounding construct continued to quiver, rock shuddering and breaking its way free of supports. The chamber felt as if it began to plummet downward. Gaining momentum, the massive lava drake launched itself upward, but failed to find purchase. Krenze cackled and staggered to sustain his footing, while mindful of the elemental rift. He harnessed the winds to his will, throwing his hand up, and a gale exploded outward! With only the slightest thought, he ignited the expanding air and sent a ring of brightly burning fire which swirled out about the chamber. The gale forced everyone out of the belly of the beast. Blown upward and out of the volcano, the group was tossed through the air clear to the base of the Fist, the blast taking those still outside the fortress with them.

From the top of the volcano, those outside saw the gargantuan lava drake begin to writhe, and it tore the spire to the ground as it scrambled to find purchase, collapsing into the volcano itself. The impact sent a shockwave out from the mountain, tossing everyone nearby into the foothills. The constructed caldera caved inwards on the top of the ridge, burying the beast and Krenze within. After a long moment, the construct did not escape, which brought a confidence that Krenze was gone, the only remnant of his threat the fine, powdery ash that filled Zoluren and Therengia.

Everyone landing in the same spot meant I was able to clearly capture the faces of all who were present that evening. The list is as follows: Allye, Sir Madigan, Dantia, Tathalus, Dame Betlind, Lanikarou, Mazrian, Tirost, Golameth, Arumis, Father Maintain, Father Harsh, Sozinho, Crobin, Raikage, Mother Nawain, Akeiro, Tweedee (or perhaps it was Tweedum), Selame, Anuril, Kethrai, Rhadyn, Karthor, Shuya, Theale, Sofina, Mother Khaelyn, Binu, Leustyin, Robarvo, Reynne, Purnay, Huebald, Malorna, Urbaj, Xionara, and myself. All fought bravely.

With the apparent death of the mighty goblin, barring any unthinkable resurrections or reincarnations, I shall be resting my pen and sword until the next story. Stay safe out there.

Sincerely,

Shaylynne Kendialahle
Reporter for the First Land Herald

Real Date: Unknown Date
Subject(s):
447 World Jousting Tournament

Crossing

Goblin

Goblin Treats

Greater Fist

Hollow Eve Festival 447

Krenze

Lesser Fist of Heaven

Northern Watch

Therengia

Warrior Mage

Zoluren
Author(s):
Shaylynne