April Fools' Day

2023

• A lot of the same shenanigans as in years past. E.g. appraisals, puppies and kittens death messages, gnomes and dragons.
• Some roundtimes are displayed in units of Irenos, referring to an ongoing inside joke about GM Irenos accidentally giving a bunch of people huge amounts of roundtime. E.g. Roundtime: 2 Irenos.

2021

• A lot of the same shenanigans as in years past.

Appraisals

The appraisal scales have not changed but do support the numerical TOGGLE:

Weapon Damage Real Number Joke Value 0 no 1 ughh 2 hurgh 3 guh 4 ugh 5 meh 6 eh 7 store-bought 8 sweet 9 super sweet 10 slick 11 awesome 12 bodacious 13 woot 14 wicked-awesome 15 cool 16 rad 17 dude! 18 zombie-killing cool 19 ninja cool 20 chuck norris cool 21 about to be nerfed 22 clearly broken

Weapon Balance/Power Real Number Joke Value 0 not 1 craptacularly 2 pitifully 3 lamely 4 not very 5 hardly 6 acceptably 7 sweetly 8 awesomely 9 fantabulously 10 awesometastically 11 cowabungaly 12 ninjarifically 13 supercalifragilisticexpialidociously

Shield Protection Real Number Joke Value 1 pwned in the making 2 pooparific 3 pooptastic 4 quite poopy 5 poopy 6 quasi-poopish 7 poopesque 8 starting to become "acceptable" 9 your version of mediocre 10 pretty much what you expect everything SHOULD be 11 really really good 12 da bomb 13 roxxor

Construction/Durability Real Number Joke Value 1 epic fail 2 fail 3 lamexor 4 def lame 5 solame 6 lame 7 kind of lame 8 of average lameness 9 unlame 10 far from lame 11 sokay 12 not quite leet 13 almost leet 14 leet 15 soleet 16 leetxor 17 uberleet 18 leet leet

Armor Hindrance Real Number Joke Value 0 no 1 mildly annoying 2 uncalled for 3 VERY ANNOYING 4 borderline-abusive 5 ABSURD 6 ridonkulous 7 duct-tape-like 8 insane

Armor Protection Real Number Joke Value 1 ROFLCOPTER 2 LOLPWNT 3 uber weak 4 weak 5 hawt 6 supah hawt 7 way hawt 8 frikkin' hawt 9 OMG SEW HAWT

Armor Absorption Real Number Joke Value 1 HAHAHAHAHA 2 L2P 3 yawntastic 4 wait, what? 5 good 'nuff 6 hardcore 7 gr8 8 extreeeeeme 9 awwwww yeah

2019

• Due to popular demand, a mirrored blade was distributed to each player.

2017

• All players races have been changed to Gnome, except for gnomes, who have been changed to Gnome-eating Dragons. Rawr! Tasty!
• Death messaging (E.g. Player was just PWND!)
• The "Fourth Wall" was visible when you observed the sky (as in 2008-2011).
• Netspeak equipment appraisals
• Funny RP and PvP stances (as in 2009)

2016

• All players races have been changed to Gnome, except for gnomes, who have been changed to Gnome-eating Dragons. Rawr! Tasty!
• Death messaging (E.g. Player was just PWND!)
• The "Fourth Wall" was visible when you observed the sky (as in 2008-2011).
• Netspeak equipment appraisals
• Arrival and departure messaging.
• Funny RP and PvP stances (as in 2009)

2015

• All players races have been changed to Gnome, except for gnomes, who have been changed to Gnome-eating Dragons. Rawr! Tasty!
• Death messaging (E.g. Player was just PWND!)
• The "Fourth Wall" was visible when you observed the sky (as in 2008-2011).
• Netspeak equipment appraisals
• Arrival and departure messaging.
• Funny RP and PvP stances (as in 2009)

2013

• Netspeak equipment appraisals (as in 2012)
• Arrival and departure messaging

Events

*Attention! Free cambrinth alterations are now available. Pick up your voucher now at Idon's altar! Hurry, before they run out!

*The oddest thing just happened. Some folks in Arthe Dale just saw pink and purple wolves lope by!

A lavender wolf starts howling, "Lavender! Lavender for Meraud! Arrrooooo!"
A lavender wolf starts howling, "Lavender! Lavender for Meraud!"

a lavender wolf, a pink wolf

desc wolf- (same for both)
A beautiful red coat, flecked with gray, does not totally conceal the powerful form which lies beneath the wolf's exterior. A toothy "smile" accompanied by a low growl gives fair warning to those who pass by this carnivorous beast.

Some guards trot through the area and give you all a thumbs up, "Good work! The city looks clear now! No lavender for Meraud today, I say!"

* The Ghost of Lyras joins the adventure.

*Flying in on ghostly wings, a flock of.. ghoul seagulls have appeared in Riverhaven!

A flying squid suddenly latches itself onto your face! You flail frantically, slapping at it futily until you realize there was never a squid at all and you've just been slapping yourself.

*Jisi will be holding a very special raffle in her wagon in Fang Cove starting soon!

Jisi says, "I've been told that each and every one of you really, really deserves these prizes."

Winners got: an AFK warning, an Unconsented PVP warning, Vulgarity, Disruptive Behavior, and 30-day lockout

2012

• GM Solomon announced "a new playable race called the Thunder Ramataur."

2011

• Humorous death messaging (as in 2008-2010)
• The "Fourth Wall" was visible when you OBSERVED the sky (as in 2008-2010).
• Humorous arrival and departure messaging (as in 2009-2010)
• Barbarians had to PREPARE dances (instead of using DANCE).
• GM Socharis announced "a rather robust overhaul of the way race is handled in DR."

Raffle

Alteration voucher prizes

• A PVP warning
• A 30 day lockout
• A 2 hour consult
• A Bug Abuse warning
• An AFK warning

Tweets

• Meraud wants lavender! Said he'd teleport the 4000th donator to a one-on-one meeting with a dragon!
• Meraud didn't receive his lavender and is displeased. Magic users now have a random chance to explode when casting. Lucky NMUs!

Appraisal

Equipment appraisal values were replaced with netspeak. (See 2009 for the old scales.)

Weapon Damage Real Value Joke Value no no dismal ughh poor hurgh low guh somewhat fair ugh fair meh somewhat moderate eh moderate store-bought somewhat heavy sweet heavy super sweet very heavy slick great awesome very great bodacious severe woot very severe wicked-awesome extreme cool very extreme rad mighty dude! very mighty zombie-killing cool bone-crushing ninja cool very bone-crushing chuck norris cool devastating about to be nerfed very devastating about to be nerfed overwhelming clearly broken annihilating obliterating

Balance and Power Real Value Joke Value not terribly craptacularly dismally pitifully poorly lamely inadequately not very fairly hardly decently acceptably reasonably sweetly soundly awesomly well fantabulously excellently awesometastically superbly ninjarifically/supercalifragilisticexpialidociously incredibly amazingly supercalifragilisticexpialidociously unbelievably perfectly supercalifragilisticexpialidociously

Construction Real Value Joke Value extremely weak very delicate quite fragile rather flimsy particularly weak somewhat unsound against damage appreciably susceptible to damage lame/kind of lame marginally vulnerable to damage kind of lame/of average lameness of average construction unlame a bit safeguarded against damage far from lame rather reinforced against damage sokay quite guarded against damage sokay highly protected against damage very strong leet extremely resistant to damage unusually resilient to damage nearly impervious to damage practically invulnerable to damage

---

2010

April Fool's was more subdued in 2010 than it was in previous years.

• Humorous death messaging (as in 2008-2009)
• Equipment appraisal values were replaced with netspeak (as in 2009).
• Caravans had unusual appearances.
• Thieves received an announcement about Ambika returning and setting up her wagon in Crossing. Upon attempting to enter the wagon, they were told that it was restricted to adventurers between 151st and 200th circle.

2009

2009 had more April Fool's jokes than most years.

• The "Fourth Wall" was visible when you OBSERVED the sky (as in 2008).
• Fake sudden death messages advised players that "Your body will decay beyond its ability to hold your soul in 30 seconds."
• Mice and other strange animals pulled Trader caravans.
• In the Crossing, there was a huge pile of platinum Kronars, and when you tried to get them, it said, "You reach out to touch the Kronars, but your hand passes right through them!"

Appraisal

Equipment appraisal values were replaced with netspeak.

Armor Hindrance Real Value Joke Value unhindered insignificant mildly annoying light uncalled for fair VERY ANNOYING somewhat moderate borderline-abusive very high great ridonkulous extreme overwhelming insane insane

Armor Protection Real Value Joke Value none poor ROFLCOPTER low LOLPWNT fair uber weak moderate weak good hawt high supah hawt great way hawt extreme incredible impressive god-like

Armor Absorption Real Value Joke Value none poor low fair moderate wait, what? good good 'nuff high hardcore great gr8 extreme incredible impressive god-like

Shield Protection Real Value Joke Value very poor poor pwned in the making rather low pooparific low pooparific fair pooptastic better than fair moderate quite poopy moderately good quite poopy good poopy very good high quasi-poopish very high quasi-poopish great poopesque very great impressive starting to become $Qacceptable$Q very impressive tremendous your version of mediocre incredible god-like

Weapon Damage Real Value Joke Value no no poor guh low ugh fair meh moderate store-bought heavy sweet great super-sweet severe woot bone-crushing omghax devastating god-like

Balance and Power Real Value Joke Value not dismally craptacularly poorly pitifully fairly not very reasonably decently well acceptably excellently superbly incredibly unbelievably

Construction Real Value Joke Value extremely weak leet flimsy somewhat flimsy pretty dang lame of average strength somewhat lame fairly sturdy sorta lame moderately strong of average lameness well-constructed not quite lame very strong unlame quite hard not lame at all incredibly hard unbelievably strong

---

Arrivals and Departures

There were different arrival, departure, and death messaging.

Arrival

• Name just cartwheeled into Elanthia. Whoops!
• Name just twitched his nose into existence.
• Name was incorrectly placed into the adventure by the system. Haha.
• Name was just deposited into the adventure by a mighty dragon!
• Name was just rippled into the adventure! (Really he was sneezed in! Shh!)
• Name's horse just threw him into the adventure. Catch!

Departure

• Name blinked back home to check his pet rock.
• Name just got sent home by the system. So long!
• Name lept upon his horse and trotted home.
• Name tried to cartwheel home, but didn't quite make it!
• Name was carried home by a mighty dragon!
• Name was just rippled out of the adventure!

---

Profiles

Roleplay Stance

Real Value	Joke Value
None	I'm all about the numbers!
Light	Arr-Peee?
Medium	I telleth ye yea, sirrah
Heavy	LARPer

PvP Stance

Real Value	Joke Value
Closed	Leave me alone plz, kthxbai
Guarded	Don't muck with me unless you tell me first!
Open	Kill me now please!

---

2008

• The "Fourth Wall" was visible when you OBSERVED the sky.

Field Experience

Field experience values were reversed. This had the effect of temporarily breaking scripts that checked for current field experience.

Field Experience Values

Apparent Value	Actual Value
mind lock	clear
dazed	learning
bewildered	thoughtful
bewildering	pondering
perplexed	concentrating
perplexing	muddled
very muddled	very muddled
muddled	perplexing
concentrating	perplexed
pondering	bewildering
thoughtful	bewildered
learning	dazed
clear	mind lock

---

Deaths

• Name has just joined the choir invisible!
• Name is an ex-Guild!
• Name is an ex-Moon Mage!
• Name is an ex-Ranger!
• Name is crunchy and tastes good with ketchup.
• Name is having tea and crumpets with Kalag.
• Name is only mostly dead!
• Name just burnt himself into ashes!
• Name just disintegrated!
• Name just got served!
• Name just got wai 2 srs!
• Name just passed on. He is no more. He has ceased to be.
• Name just pinched his nose and tried to sneeze!
• Name just said hello to my little friend.
• Name just snatched the sock puppet off of Urrem'tier's hand! Not smart!
• Name just stole Urrem'tier's pizza!
• Name just tried to join the Necromancer Guild!
• Name just tried to pick Kertigen's pocket!
• Name just watched "Two Togs, One Mug".
• Name just went (somewhat) gentle into that good night.
• Name just went down the road more travelled.
• Name just won a Darwin Award!
• Name needs a lot more Evasion. L2P!
• Name needs to learn how to duck. Seriously...
• Name was just eaten by a grue.
• Name was just PWND!
• Name will blame it on the rain, yeah, yeah. (Gotta blame it on something.)
• Name's metabolic processes are now history!
• Luckily, Name does not have but one life to give to his country!
• They can take Name's life, but they can never take his FREEDOM!

---

2007

System Announcements

System Announcement: All jadeite gwethdesuans will now play "99 bottles of beer on the wall" when you have an incoming thought. Please do not assist, as turning this feature off is considered an in-game puzzle.

System Announcement: As of now, the "Real Gems" program has been discontinued, to be replaced by the "Real Hens" program. Players finding a chicken in the game will be sent an actual pullet via the U.S. Postal System. Please be sure your mailing address is up to date to prevent misrouted poultry. No P.O. boxes, please.

System Announcement: As our gift to you, the players, items deposited in a trash receptacle will be placed into a random player's inventory. Please do not assist to thank us if you are suddenly overburdened with 400 globs of blocil pulp.

System Announcement: As part of magic changes, all three moons are being rolled into one "Moon 2.0." and will be rainbow-colored. A 400-page users' guide will be posted shortly

System Announcement: Due to popular demand, mostly by women, use of razors will now have a random 5% chance of decapitation. Please shave at your own risk.

System Announcement: Effective immediately, the new "outhouse" system is live. Outhouses themselves should be in place next week. Look for new functionality to the "go" verb and please remember that all town littering laws are still in effect.

System Announcement: For Barbarian purposes, the definition of "magic" has been expanded to include the mysteries of "I've got your nose" and "counting past ten." Enjoy!

System Announcement: Gnomish bards may now electrify their musical instruments. They may incur a 10% chance of electrocution. In related news, players with broomsticks can now use them to bang on the ceiling and complain of excessive noise.

System Announcement: If you are assisting as to the location of outhouses, please cancel your assist. You should have thought of that before we left home.

System Announcement: In order to re-balance the Elanthian economy and encourage stamina training among our player base, the new official currency of Elanthia is giant stone coins. Please trade in your platinums at the nearest bank within the next 24 hours. Thank you.

System Announcement: In order to simplify our mythology for newer players, all gods have been renamed after the Little Rascals. Henceforth, Urrem'tier will be known as "Spanky."

System Announcement: In response to increased FCC regulation, we will now be issuing profanity warnings for use of the words "jeepers," "Jeez Louise" and "Jiminy Jillikers." In fact, all words beginning with the letter J will now result in a warning. We reserve the right to add further terms without notice.

That's it, you're all on notice.

System Announcement: To answer several players' questions, if your name begins with the letter J, you will have to come up with a catchy new nickname or risk having all your friends banned when they speak to you. The choice is yours. Thank you for your attention.

System Announcement: New changes are in place to give every player handling a scroll or parchment an 8% chance of receiving a papercut. There is an additional 8% chance that the cut will become gangrenous, and the affected body part will fall off. This is an intended feature, not a bug.

System Announcement: The EZ-Bake company has announced that they have purchased the rights to all Elanthian stoves and uncholai buckets and, henceforth, these will only produce miniature chocolate cakes.

System Announcement: We apologize for the oversight, but it appears that all Crossing bank accounts were improperly debited in the amount of 10000000 Kronars. We shall endeavor to ensure that this mishap does not occur again. We appreciate your understanding and support as we work to correct this situation as quickly and painlessly as possible.

[Your bank account in Crossing has been debited 10000000 Kronars.]

System Announcement: We are aware of the bug with Wayerd Pyramids. Yes, they are carnivorous. Please use at own risk, we will not be replacing any hands due to this bug.

---

Sword in the Stone

In the Crossing, characters who attempted to pull the sword from the stone stubbed their toes and hopped around comically.

{name} hops into view, grasping his wounded foot in agony!

{name} hops around on one leg, grasping his wounded foot in agony!

{name} hops comically around on one foot chanting, "Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch!"

---

2006

It is with regret that I announce the closure of the Empath Guild, but due to lack of funding, we are no longer able to maintain the high lifestyle to which you have all been accustomed. Thankfully, another guild has graciously agreed to take you all on. GL Imaar awaits you, with several yaks to choose from. We appreciate your years of service and ask that you remember us kindly in your wills.

Two Elotheans walk past and you overhear one say, "Did you know babies are born without kneecaps?" The fact is so overwhelming that the more you think about it...

You are stunned!

System Announcement: That's true, by the way.

System Announcement: No, it wasn't a joke. Babies don't have kneecaps. Look it up. :You can tell your mom you actually learned something in DR today.

System Announcement: Other than "a cool new medium blunt combo ZOMG!"

System Announcement: Everyone check WHO...

Your death cry echoes in your brain as it quickly dawns on you that you have just died! Already, you feel the tug of eternity upon your spirit and you struggle to remain tied to this world.?

System Announcement: Now check...

You are stunned! >! You are unconscious! lodges savagely in you! advances to melee on you! You are still stunned!

System Announcement: Ah well...I'll try it later tonight. ;)

System Announcement: As a public service, we have taken aways Solomon's access to Samatak for the remainder of the evening.

System Announcement: That still leaves the rest of us to party, however. Muahahahaha!

Unfortunately that means he still gets it back later on. I don't think we can apologize enough.

System Announcement: * Connection to the game has been lost. Oh wait. There it is. Sorry.

Because of rising inflation in the economy you will now be charged a 1 silver per circle fee for every room you enter. You must have the cash on hand.

1 silver has been deducted from your pockets.

Reports will be 1 plat per.

---

2003

A shimmering moongate flares into existence before you! A ragged-looking Dwarf steps through and says, "Right this way to Province 5!" He grunts once and steps back through the moongate. Just as you move towards the moongate, it collapses into nothingness

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