April Fools' Day

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  • Due to popular demand, a mirrored blade was distributed to each player.


  • All players races have been changed to Gnome, except for gnomes, who have been changed to Gnome-eating Dragons. Rawr! Tasty!
  • Death messaging (E.g. Player was just PWND!)
  • The "Fourth Wall" was visible when you observed the sky (as in 2008-2011).
  • Netspeak equipment appraisals
  • Funny RP and PvP stances (as in 2009)


  • All players races have been changed to Gnome, except for gnomes, who have been changed to Gnome-eating Dragons. Rawr! Tasty!
  • Death messaging (E.g. Player was just PWND!)
  • The "Fourth Wall" was visible when you observed the sky (as in 2008-2011).
  • Netspeak equipment appraisals
  • Arrival and departure messaging.
  • Funny RP and PvP stances (as in 2009)


  • All players races have been changed to Gnome, except for gnomes, who have been changed to Gnome-eating Dragons. Rawr! Tasty!
  • Death messaging (E.g. Player was just PWND!)
  • The "Fourth Wall" was visible when you observed the sky (as in 2008-2011).
  • Netspeak equipment appraisals
  • Arrival and departure messaging.
  • Funny RP and PvP stances (as in 2009)


  • Netspeak equipment appraisals (as in 2012)
  • Arrival and departure messaging


*Attention! Free cambrinth alterations are now available. Pick up your voucher now at Idon's altar! Hurry, before they run out!

*The oddest thing just happened. Some folks in Arthe Dale just saw pink and purple wolves lope by!

A lavender wolf starts howling, "Lavender! Lavender for Meraud! Arrrooooo!"
A lavender wolf starts howling, "Lavender! Lavender for Meraud!"

a lavender wolf, a pink wolf

desc wolf- (same for both)
A beautiful red coat, flecked with gray, does not totally conceal the powerful form which lies beneath the wolf's exterior. A toothy "smile" accompanied by a low growl gives fair warning to those who pass by this carnivorous beast.

Some guards trot through the area and give you all a thumbs up, "Good work! The city looks clear now! No lavender for Meraud today, I say!"

* The Ghost of Lyras joins the adventure.

*Flying in on ghostly wings, a flock of.. ghoul seagulls have appeared in Riverhaven!

A flying squid suddenly latches itself onto your face! You flail frantically, slapping at it futily until you realize there was never a squid at all and you've just been slapping yourself.

*Jisi will be holding a very special raffle in her wagon in Fang Cove starting soon!

Jisi says, "I've been told that each and every one of you really, really deserves these prizes."

Winners got: an AFK warning, an Unconsented PVP warning, Vulgarity, Disruptive Behavior, and 30-day lockout




Alteration voucher prizes

  • A PVP warning
  • A 30 day lockout
  • A 2 hour consult
  • A Bug Abuse warning
  • An AFK warning


  • Meraud wants lavender! Said he'd teleport the 4000th donator to a one-on-one meeting with a dragon!
  • Meraud didn't receive his lavender and is displeased. Magic users now have a random chance to explode when casting. Lucky NMUs!


Equipment appraisal values were replaced with netspeak. (See 2009 for the old scales.)

Weapon Damage
Real Value Joke Value
no no
dismal ughh
poor hurgh
low guh
somewhat fair ugh
fair meh
somewhat moderate eh
moderate store-bought
somewhat heavy sweet
heavy super sweet
very heavy slick
great awesome
very great bodacious
severe woot
very severe wicked-awesome
extreme cool
very extreme rad
mighty dude!
very mighty
bone-crushing ninja cool
very bone-crushing
devastating about to be nerfed
very devastating
overwhelming clearly broken
Balance and Power
Real Value Joke Value
terribly craptacularly
dismally pitifully
poorly lamely
inadequately not very
fairly hardly
decently acceptably
reasonably sweetly
soundly awesomly
well fantabulously
excellently awesometastically
superbly ninjarifically/supercalifragilisticexpialidociously
amazingly supercalifragilisticexpialidociously
perfectly supercalifragilisticexpialidociously
Real Value Joke Value
extremely weak
very delicate
quite fragile
rather flimsy
particularly weak
somewhat unsound against damage
appreciably susceptible to damage lame/kind of lame
marginally vulnerable to damage kind of lame/of average lameness
of average construction unlame
a bit safeguarded against damage far from lame
rather reinforced against damage sokay
quite guarded against damage sokay
highly protected against damage
very strong leet
extremely resistant to damage
unusually resilient to damage
nearly impervious to damage
practically invulnerable to damage


April Fool's was more subdued in 2010 than it was in previous years.

  • Humorous death messaging (as in 2008-2009)
  • Equipment appraisal values were replaced with netspeak (as in 2009).
  • Caravans had unusual appearances.
  • Thieves received an announcement about Ambika returning and setting up her wagon in Crossing. Upon attempting to enter the wagon, they were told that it was restricted to adventurers between 151st and 200th circle.


2009 had more April Fool's jokes than most years.

  • The "Fourth Wall" was visible when you OBSERVED the sky (as in 2008).
  • Fake sudden death messages advised players that "Your body will decay beyond its ability to hold your soul in 30 seconds."
  • Mice and other strange animals pulled Trader caravans.
  • In the Crossing, there was a huge pile of platinum Kronars, and when you tried to get them, it said, "You reach out to touch the Kronars, but your hand passes right through them!"


Equipment appraisal values were replaced with netspeak.

Armor Hindrance
Real Value Joke Value
insignificant mildly annoying
light uncalled for
moderate borderline-abusive
great ridonkulous
insane insane
Armor Protection
Real Value Joke Value
fair uber weak
moderate weak
good hawt
high supah hawt
great way hawt
Armor Absorption
Real Value Joke Value
moderate wait, what?
good good 'nuff
high hardcore
great gr8
Shield Protection
Real Value Joke Value
very poor
poor pwned in the making
rather low pooparific
low pooparific
fair pooptastic
better than fair
moderate quite poopy
moderately good quite poopy
good poopy
very good
high quasi-poopish
very high quasi-poopish
great poopesque
very great
impressive starting to become $Qacceptable$Q
very impressive
tremendous your version of mediocre
Weapon Damage
Real Value Joke Value
no no
poor guh
low ugh
fair meh
moderate store-bought
heavy sweet
great super-sweet
severe woot
bone-crushing omghax
Balance and Power
Real Value Joke Value
dismally craptacularly
poorly pitifully
fairly not very
reasonably decently
well acceptably
Real Value Joke Value
extremely weak leet
somewhat flimsy pretty dang lame
of average strength somewhat lame
fairly sturdy sorta lame
moderately strong of average lameness
well-constructed not quite lame
very strong unlame
quite hard not lame at all
incredibly hard
unbelievably strong

Arrivals and Departures

There were different arrival, departure, and death messaging.


  • Name just cartwheeled into Elanthia. Whoops!
  • Name just twitched his nose into existence.
  • Name was incorrectly placed into the adventure by the system. Haha.
  • Name was just deposited into the adventure by a mighty dragon!
  • Name was just rippled into the adventure! (Really he was sneezed in! Shh!)
  • Name's horse just threw him into the adventure. Catch!


  • Name blinked back home to check his pet rock.
  • Name just got sent home by the system. So long!
  • Name lept upon his horse and trotted home.
  • Name tried to cartwheel home, but didn't quite make it!
  • Name was carried home by a mighty dragon!
  • Name was just rippled out of the adventure!


Roleplay Stance
Real Value Joke Value
None I'm all about the numbers!
Light Arr-Peee?
Medium I telleth ye yea, sirrah
Heavy LARPer
PvP Stance
Real Value Joke Value
Closed Leave me alone plz, kthxbai
Guarded Don't muck with me unless you tell me first!
Open Kill me now please!


Field Experience

Field experience values were reversed. This had the effect of temporarily breaking scripts that checked for current field experience.

Field Experience Values
Apparent Value Actual Value
mind lock clear
dazed learning
bewildered thoughtful
bewildering pondering
perplexed concentrating
perplexing muddled
very muddled very muddled
muddled perplexing
concentrating perplexed
pondering bewildering
thoughtful bewildered
learning dazed
clear mind lock


  • Name has just joined the choir invisible!
  • Name is an ex-Guild!
  • Name is an ex-Moon Mage!
  • Name is an ex-Ranger!
  • Name is crunchy and tastes good with ketchup.
  • Name is having tea and crumpets with Kalag.
  • Name is only mostly dead!
  • Name just burnt himself into ashes!
  • Name just disintegrated!
  • Name just got served!
  • Name just got wai 2 srs!
  • Name just passed on. He is no more. He has ceased to be.
  • Name just pinched his nose and tried to sneeze!
  • Name just said hello to my little friend.
  • Name just snatched the sock puppet off of Urrem'tier's hand! Not smart!
  • Name just stole Urrem'tier's pizza!
  • Name just tried to join the Necromancer Guild!
  • Name just tried to pick Kertigen's pocket!
  • Name just watched "Two Togs, One Mug".
  • Name just went (somewhat) gentle into that good night.
  • Name just went down the road more travelled.
  • Name just won a Darwin Award!
  • Name needs a lot more Evasion. L2P!
  • Name needs to learn how to duck. Seriously...
  • Name was just eaten by a grue.
  • Name was just PWND!
  • Name will blame it on the rain, yeah, yeah. (Gotta blame it on something.)
  • Name's metabolic processes are now history!
  • Luckily, Name does not have but one life to give to his country!
  • They can take Name's life, but they can never take his FREEDOM!


System Announcements

System Announcement: All jadeite gwethdesuans will now play "99 bottles of beer on the wall" when you have an incoming thought. Please do not assist, as turning this feature off is considered an in-game puzzle.

System Announcement: As of now, the "Real Gems" program has been discontinued, to be replaced by the "Real Hens" program. Players finding a chicken in the game will be sent an actual pullet via the U.S. Postal System. Please be sure your mailing address is up to date to prevent misrouted poultry. No P.O. boxes, please.

System Announcement: As our gift to you, the players, items deposited in a trash receptacle will be placed into a random player's inventory. Please do not assist to thank us if you are suddenly overburdened with 400 globs of blocil pulp.

System Announcement: As part of magic changes, all three moons are being rolled into one "Moon 2.0." and will be rainbow-colored. A 400-page users' guide will be posted shortly

System Announcement: Due to popular demand, mostly by women, use of razors will now have a random 5% chance of decapitation. Please shave at your own risk.

System Announcement: Effective immediately, the new "outhouse" system is live. Outhouses themselves should be in place next week. Look for new functionality to the "go" verb and please remember that all town littering laws are still in effect.

System Announcement: For Barbarian purposes, the definition of "magic" has been expanded to include the mysteries of "I've got your nose" and "counting past ten." Enjoy!

System Announcement: Gnomish bards may now electrify their musical instruments. They may incur a 10% chance of electrocution. In related news, players with broomsticks can now use them to bang on the ceiling and complain of excessive noise.

System Announcement: If you are assisting as to the location of outhouses, please cancel your assist. You should have thought of that before we left home.

System Announcement: In order to re-balance the Elanthian economy and encourage stamina training among our player base, the new official currency of Elanthia is giant stone coins. Please trade in your platinums at the nearest bank within the next 24 hours. Thank you.

System Announcement: In order to simplify our mythology for newer players, all gods have been renamed after the Little Rascals. Henceforth, Urrem'tier will be known as "Spanky."

System Announcement: In response to increased FCC regulation, we will now be issuing profanity warnings for use of the words "jeepers," "Jeez Louise" and "Jiminy Jillikers." In fact, all words beginning with the letter J will now result in a warning. We reserve the right to add further terms without notice.

That's it, you're all on notice.

System Announcement: To answer several players' questions, if your name begins with the letter J, you will have to come up with a catchy new nickname or risk having all your friends banned when they speak to you. The choice is yours. Thank you for your attention.

System Announcement: New changes are in place to give every player handling a scroll or parchment an 8% chance of receiving a papercut. There is an additional 8% chance that the cut will become gangrenous, and the affected body part will fall off. This is an intended feature, not a bug.

System Announcement: The EZ-Bake company has announced that they have purchased the rights to all Elanthian stoves and uncholai buckets and, henceforth, these will only produce miniature chocolate cakes.

System Announcement: We apologize for the oversight, but it appears that all Crossing bank accounts were improperly debited in the amount of 10000000 Kronars. We shall endeavor to ensure that this mishap does not occur again. We appreciate your understanding and support as we work to correct this situation as quickly and painlessly as possible.

[Your bank account in Crossing has been debited 10000000 Kronars.]

System Announcement: We are aware of the bug with Wayerd Pyramids. Yes, they are carnivorous. Please use at own risk, we will not be replacing any hands due to this bug.

Sword in the Stone

In the Crossing, characters who attempted to pull the sword from the stone stubbed their toes and hopped around comically.

{name} hops into view, grasping his wounded foot in agony!

{name} hops around on one leg, grasping his wounded foot in agony!

{name} hops comically around on one foot chanting, "Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch!"


It is with regret that I announce the closure of the Empath Guild, but due to lack of funding, we are no longer able to maintain the high lifestyle to which you have all been accustomed. Thankfully, another guild has graciously agreed to take you all on. GL Imaar awaits you, with several yaks to choose from. We appreciate your years of service and ask that you remember us kindly in your wills.

Two Elotheans walk past and you overhear one say, "Did you know babies are born without kneecaps?" The fact is so overwhelming that the more you think about it...

You are stunned!

System Announcement: That's true, by the way.

System Announcement: No, it wasn't a joke. Babies don't have kneecaps. Look it up. :You can tell your mom you actually learned something in DR today.

System Announcement: Other than "a cool new medium blunt combo ZOMG!"

System Announcement: Everyone check WHO...

Your death cry echoes in your brain as it quickly dawns on you that you have just died! Already, you feel the tug of eternity upon your spirit and you struggle to remain tied to this world.?

System Announcement: Now check...

You are stunned! >! You are unconscious! lodges savagely in you! advances to melee on you! You are still stunned!

System Announcement: Ah well...I'll try it later tonight. ;)

System Announcement: As a public service, we have taken aways Solomon's access to Samatak for the remainder of the evening.

System Announcement: That still leaves the rest of us to party, however. Muahahahaha!

Unfortunately that means he still gets it back later on. I don't think we can apologize enough.

System Announcement: * Connection to the game has been lost. Oh wait. There it is. Sorry.

Because of rising inflation in the economy you will now be charged a 1 silver per circle fee for every room you enter. You must have the cash on hand.

1 silver has been deducted from your pockets.

Reports will be 1 plat per.


A shimmering moongate flares into existence before you! A ragged-looking Dwarf steps through and says, "Right this way to Province 5!" He grunts once and steps back through the moongate. Just as you move towards the moongate, it collapses into nothingness

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