Agitated businessman

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agitated businessman
Status: Alive
Gender: Male
Location: Meeting portal
Associates: concerned arachnologist
Tasks: kill, search

An NPC part of the lead-up events to the Hollow Eve Festival 432 (2019) event.


From the top of his gold-buckled, black hat to the tips of his well polished black shoes, every component of the agitated businessman's outfit is of the highest quality, leaving him looking rather out of place standing on the streets as he is.


  • STUDY BUSINESSMAN: You've overheard others asking the businessman about a number of topics, including spiders, tomiek, Kurmin, work, rewards, sickness, status, webs, claim, businessman and task.
An agitated businessman glowers. "I don't like 'em. Ain't no good ones out there. Smack them, stab them, squish them, slaughter them for all I care. The only good spider is a dead one."
With a huff, he adds, "If you're interested in slaughtering the Harawep-kissed land octopuses, let's do some business."
  • ASK BUSINESSMAN ABOUT TOMIEK: The businessman asks, "Are you familiar with Gorbesh? To them, tomiek means 'deceit'." He spits. "I ask you -- can anything good come from something with that meaning? Kurmin and his foul deal with Harawep spawned this mess." He calms only slightly before adding, "I have friends interested in acquiring some. Perhaps you'd be interested?"
  • ASK BUSINESSMAN ABOUT KURMIN: "Manipulator, puppet of the Immortals, made deals with Harawep that brought a CONTRAPTION to life! It's not natural, and neither is he by all accounts!" exclaims the agitated businessman. "Kurmin shouldn't be treated as one of us anymore. These repeating tragedies every few years are somehow always happening when he decides to show up. 'Celebrations', they say. Hah! He's put blinders on us all for too long with his fancy festival. No more I say!"
  • ASK BUSINESSMAN ABOUT WORK: The businessman nods. "Plenty of it to be done. I've a task or six to keep you occupied with."
The businessman squints. "The old 'what's in it for me' bit, eh? Very well. I have a small amount of coin I shall make available for each completed objective, upon completion. Further, I have plenty of connections that, with time, can be used to convey special titles in recognition of the work you have performed. You should remain informed of your STATUS."
He pauses to remove his hat and flick some dust from it before continuing, "Should you prove exceptionally useful to my cause, there may be an additional arrangement. I shall be the sole decider of that, however, at a later time."
He leans in and quietly says, "Ask again, and I might be able to show you something of interest."
The businessman produces a parchment and holds it up for you to review:
"Penned 1st Uthmor the Giant in the year of the Emerald Dolphin for review and consideration by the honorable authorities of Z------ at the request of ------------.  Document of intent to convey titles of recognition for services rendered, if authorized.

  Credits | Earns
       10 | Arachnophobe
       20 | Web Defiler
       40 | Kleptoparasite
       60 | Spider Exterminator
       75 | Harawep's Bane

 * Party requesting review discloses that loss of limb, life and property may occur by those embarking on this venture.  Some monetary compensation will be provided by ------------, but no guarantee is made that it will cover all or any expenses.
 * Party requesting review further discloses that additional compensation for services rendered MAY be offered to those who prove to be of exceptional value to the cause, but a confidentiality arrangement prevents disclosure of further details at this time.

 By my hand,
 ----- ---------------
 Representing ------------"

He tucks the parchment away and says, "You saw nothing, you hear?"
The businessman sneers. "The spider kissers will tell you that Kurmin and Harawep's trickery gave 'life' to the giant metal contraption, and that the pests currently plaguing us are simply trying to aid the abomination with some sort of sickness."
He spits before continuing, "These webs are sucking the life out of people, they're choking our cities and trade routes. If the little ones are sick, too, then it's even more reason for us to obliterate the heinous freaks. Maybe it's time we take the fight to the big one itself, too."
  • ASK BUSINESSMAN ABOUT STATUS: An agitated businessman produces a voluminous ledger from his satchel and studies over it. At last, he closes it and says, "I have no records of you assisting my efforts so far."
  • ASK BUSINESSMAN ABOUT WEBS: An agitated businessman scoffs. "The Arachnophiles will claim that these blasted webs taking over everywhere are like veins, summoning forth nourishment to heal and maintain Kurmin's monster. Don't you dare listen to them. It's just another ruse, and even if it isn't, I'm not choosing to give up my life, my business, my properties to save some monster! Who would do that? It's madness I say! If you see a hateful monstrosity, kill it and be done with it, for the sake of US!"
  • ASK BUSINESSMAN ABOUT CLAIM: An agitated businessman swats dismissively, saying, "Not now. There's more work to be done."
"I've been a trader all my life -- started with Mags and Maisey, didn't have the eye for gems, traveled the realms with a caravan, saved up to open my own stall, then a right proper shop," the agitated businessman explains.
"I've done my time and my work, I've made my money. Now, I'm looking to right some wrongs in the realms. Kurmin is bad, the Immortals don't care about you or any of us, and we'd all be better off if we stopped playing their games." He turns his attention to a passing group, and you hear quite a few unpleasant references to Kurmin.


The following notes the full text messaging for each task offered, along with some possible messaging for completions. See Hollow Eve 432 tasks for summarized information.

  • Kill spiders:
  • ASK FOR TASK text:
  • ACCEPT text:
  • Kill various event spiders from invasions and the current spider hunting location to acquire randomly dropped pieces of spidersilk. Once you have killed the number required for the task, return to the businessman and ASK BUSINESSMAN ABOUT TASK to complete it.
  • note that Empaths will not be given this task as an option.
  • Rescue missing colleagues:
  • ASK FOR TASK text: The agitated businessman looks serious as he explains the situation. "I just had word that someone was dragged into another burrow. They won't survive long at the rate these beasts work. Can you rescue them?"
  • ACCEPT text: Nodding appreciatively, the agitated businessman says, "I knew I could count on you. There's no time to waste." He holds up a parchment for you to view - "<random location in Zoluren>". Without another word to you, he turns and begins dispatching orders to others.
  • SEARCH in the area that you've been directed. A success message will always start with "A dense mass of webbing catches your eye...". Once you have completed the number of searches required for the task, return to the businessman and ASK BUSINESSMAN ABOUT TASK to complete it.
  • Spidersilk turn-in:
  • ASK FOR TASK text:
The agitated businessman looks serious as he explains the situation. "Thryntyrlz made a living off of spidersilk; I was impressed at the time. Now we're swimming in the stuff from these an agitated businessman. Not the broodlings, mind you, but the unyns and others that they corrupted. Bring me some of their enhanced spidersilk so I can give it to my associates. They're convinced they can use it -- to aid the battle against the pests or their own coffers."
He grumbles, "I'd rather be dead than start up THAT business. So! Are you interested?"
  • ACCEPT text: An agitated businessman grimaces. "Make their deaths painful, Elothean. Bring me <amount> scraps as proof."
  • Kill various event spiders from invasions and the current spider hunting location to acquire randomly dropped pieces of spidersilk. They will have random modifiers from the following list (example: a tatter of dirty spidersilk):
  • contaminated
  • dirty
  • filthy
  • impure
  • polluted
  • tainted
  • tatter
  • Once you have acquired the amount needed for the task, return to the businessman and GIVE SPIDERSILK TO BUSINESSMAN times the number of pieces required to complete it. This task will auto-complete once you turn in the last piece.
  • Spiderweb portals:
  • ASK FOR TASK text: The agitated businessman looks serious as he explains the situation. "You can't turn around without walking into a blasted web. Shops are closing, cities are being cut off, and worse!" He spits. "I don't care whether you blast them, shred them, or pray them away, I just want them dealt with! Think you can handle that, Elothean?"
  • ACCEPT text:
An agitated businessman removes his hat and hastily swats at an errant web floating through the air. Rustled, he grumps, "Fine. These treacherous creeps are slinging and swinging from these webs everywhere. Go clean 'em up. Through whatever means necessary, clear <number> obstacles and return to me."
He quickly scratches a note and shoves it at you. "<random location in Zoluren> - an associate just reported in that you might find a cluster of webs thereabouts."
  • There are 2 ways to complete this task. 1st way is to head to the location specified in the task, then SEARCH until you uncover a portal. A success message will always start with "With a careful eye and much swatting of obstructing webs...". Once you find a portal, follow the guidelines of the spiderweb syntax to clear the spiderweb. Repeat this process for as many as the task requests
  • The 2nd way is to find randomly generated spiderweb-covered portals in your area. Many doors, gates, arches, etc. in Guildhalls, Society Buildings, Shops and other public spaces have been filling in with a spiderweb during the event, and can be cleared away to qualify for this task as well.
  • Once you have cleared the required number of spiderwebs for the task, return to the businessman and ASK BUSINESSMAN ABOUT TASK to complete it.
  • Tomiek chitins:
  • ASK FOR TASK text: The agitated businessman looks serious as he explains the situation. "I've built a network of associates from all walks of life throughout the years. While personally I just want to see the beasts stomped out of existence, some are inquiring about their tomiek chitin slivers and how they may be used to further our goals. Bring some to me so they'll get off my back, yeah?"
  • ACCEPT text:

Atmospheric Messages

  • An agitated businessman removes his hat and absently dusts it off while keenly observing the comings and goings of the locals.
  • "First the sky fell! Then evil dolls attacked! Broken Gnomish machines, sky serpents, cat infestations, rips in reality, diseased trees..." An agitated businessman continues rambling. "Kurmin announces his intentions to visit, and we suffer for it! These aggravating arachnids are just another in a long line of disasters tied to him! Stop supporting him, for the good of us all!"
  • In the blink of an eye, an agitated businessman swipes the hat from his head and swats at something nearby. He angrily shouts, "To Maelshyve's abyssal pit with Harawep and all the Immortals' incessant meddling! These monsters are THEIR doing!"
  • *THWAP*
"Haraweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!" The agitated businessman stomps about angrily while smacking unseen foes with his hat.
  • To no one in particular, the agitated businessman calls out, "These miserable spider abominations are wrecking our towns! Our homes! Our BUSINESSES! Between these infernal webs, the burrowing, and the ceaseless sympathizer whining, we're all being affected one way or another!"
"Stop this madness! Join me and let us be rid of the menace!" The onlooking crowd murmurs in small groups amongst themselves, but few approach the agitated businessman, to his obvious consternation.
  • A concerned arachnologist calls to you, "Good evening, madam! Might you have a moment to speak about these spiders? Perhaps you're eager to learn about them too?"