Talk:Gaumedies

This article has a number of useful facts in it, but is hurt by a general lack of organization and clarity. I don't know enough about the characters and events involved, though, to feel comfortable making edits. So, I'll describe what I see as weak parts in the current version as well as propose a new general structure for the article. Feedback would be appreciated.

Current version, with annotations:

Gaumedies Vaerylian, Forest elf

Generally the first line is reserved for the name (and, possibly, aliases) only. Description comes later.

Uncle to Edenlaen, sponsor to Natashya, rumored to be lover to Eluresturi. Was last seen heading off to Mountain Clan after learning that Lura was being detained against her will.

We have what appear to be unrelated ideas lumped together here. For example, the structure this paragraph makes me ask a few questions: Why are Edenlaen and Natashya mentioned in the same sentence? Is there some (unmentioned) connection between those two? How is Gaumedies' trip to Mountain Clan related to the previous sentence? Also, why did Gaumedies go to Mountain Clan? Who is Lura?

Some what of a rebel in his younger days, Gaumedies seemed content to socialize and charm the ladies around Leth Deriel. During many of the side plots surrounding the Outcast War Gaumedies was the proverbial voice of reason. When the Regent Mayor, Anbreith was poisoned in a plot allegedly staged on behalf of Queen Morganae Gaumedies took the fall in an effort to protect the young Liohe.

Again, we have unrelated ideas next to each other. Also, what was Gaumedies rebelling against in his youth? When was Gaumedies content to socialize and charm the ladies, in his youth or more recently? Are there examples of Gaumedies being a voice of reason? The whole poisoning plot is particularly unclear. When did it happen? Who was involved? What was involved in taking "the fall"? How did this protect Liohe?

Proposed new version, with some information missing or possibly incorrect:

Gaumedies Vaerylian

Introduction

Important figure in elven politics in recent times due to his role as [?].

Early life and family

Forest elf. During his youth, rebelled against [?] because [?]. Once this situation was resolved, however, he seemed mostly content to socialize and charm the ladies around Leth Deriel.

Uncle to Edenlaen. Also rumored to be a lover to Eluresturi.

Involvement in important political events

Around 365 AV, helped to integrate Natashya, a commoner and Thief guild spy, into the Zoluren royal court. Though Natashya had the necessary appearance and papers to enter that society, Gaumedies was critical in providing her with an understanding of the social norms of the court as well as making initial introductions.

During many of the side plots surrounding the Outcast War (375-380 AV), Gaumedies was the proverbial voice of reason. For example, when [?] happened, he [?]. Furthermore, [?] wanted to [?] but Gaumedies was successful in advocating a policy of [?] instead.

In 380 AV, Regent Mayor, Anbreith was poisoned by unknown parties. The plot was allegedly carried out on Queen Morganae's orders, though Liohe was implicated by [?] because [?]. Gaumedies, loyal to Liohe because [?], said/did [?], thereby taking the fall for Liohe and protecting her from the poisoning accusations. As a result, Gaumedies suffered [punishment as part of 'taking the fall' ?].

In 385 AV, Gaumedies was told by [?] that Lura was being held against her will by [?] in [?]. In response, he departed for Mountain Clan in order to [?]. He has not been seen since, suggesting that [?].

As you can see, there is a lot missing (or possibly wrong) there, but it helps to structure who Gaumedies is and to make the chronology of events clearer. Also, it provides both context and reasons for why Gaumedies took particular actions. Thoughts? --Basselope 17:43, 10 December 2007 (CST)

Your formating style fine. IC dates and answers to the blanks are unfortunately on a memory stick ..somewhere, I'll keep looking --Pascheinw 00:06, 11 December 2007 (CST)

Made some edits to the article to make it more concise. When I get time I will go back and add to it. --Pascheinw 17:58, 12 December 2007 (CST)