Item:Miniature fur-clad sideshow performer skewered by three thin zingana spears

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miniature fur-clad sideshow performer skewered by three thin zingana spears
Look: Crafted from age-darkened iroko wood, this muscular Human figurine, wearing only a fluffy hiro bear pelt loincloth, is covered in bright white tattoos from bald head to bare toes. Numerous iron spikes accented with golden rings puncture the flesh of his face, ears, and throat. A trio of yellowish-white spears pierce his body, their short shafts intersecting high in his abdomen, imparting a strange, star-like appearance. Despite the horrific nature of his impalement, he flashes a broad, toothy grin.
Weight: 5 stones
Appraised Cost: 1,187,500 Kronars
950,000 Lirums
856,900 Dokoras
1,187.5 LTBpoints
1,187.5 Tickets
1,187.5 Scrips
Special Properties:
Dimensions: 1 length x 1 width x 1 height
Sources: Source is Spacious flat-top travel trunk plastered with numerous faded sideshow posters, Limited Treasures (1)
You think that the performer is a siegery toy. It is a male soldier.
The sideshow performer does not belong to you. You'll need to TURN him to make him yours.
You think you can DROP the sideshow performer to have him join in on a siegery game.
You can also PUSH the sideshow performer when on the ground to have him attack.
You can REPAIR the sideshow performer when broken.

Messaging

Successful Attack

  • The miniature sideshow performer intercepts an incoming attack with his body and says, "Lil' higher next time, got an itch." His bald pate bonks loudly off <opposing soldier> as he delivers a top notch headbutt!
  • The miniature sideshow performer makes a grand showing of removing each of the spears impaling his midsection. Flashing a wide grin, he lofts them into the air one by one, each projectile arcing sharply before striking <castle location>!

Failed Attack

  • The miniature sideshow performer produces a wickedly sharp steel needle. Creaking open his wooden lips he sticks out his tongue and shoves the needle all the way through. He wriggles his tongue for effect, making the slender barb dance.
  • The miniature sideshow performer removes all the spears from his midsection, dropping them. Forming a fist, he contorts his right arm and shoves the hand through his body. He turns with a chortle and waves at the opposition.
  • The miniature sideshow performer assaults <opposing soldier> with a spear, but is soundly blocked. Turning away in disgust he impales himself with his own spear. The other two spears already sticking out of him rattle against one another.

Death

  • The miniature sideshow, defeated, mutters, "Ugh, who dies like this?" Adjusting the positioning of each spear, he topples backwards. A little white flag flutters prettily as it is raised up to top the tallest spear.