Item:Crispy ham-stuffed rat topped with barbecue sauce and chilled pats of bacon-butter

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crispy ham-stuffed rat topped with barbecue sauce and chilled pats of bacon-butter
Look: You see nothing unusual.
Weight: 10 stones
Uses: 6
Appraised Cost: 1 Kronars
0.8 Lirums
0.722 Dokoras
1.0e-3 LTBpoints
1.0e-3 Tickets
1.0e-3 Scrips
Special Properties:
  • This item is food.
Dimensions: 2 length x 1 width x 1 height
Sources: Source is Oak Table, Glaes Spatula Cooking Competition 423
Nakori won second prize for this dish.

Verbs

  • EAT: You take a bite of the rat and you find that the juxtaposition of textures, temperatures, and flavors somehow all comes together to create a surprisingly tasty dish!
[Player] takes a bite of the rat.

Preparation

(Nakori pulls a haunch of honey-glazed ham from her lunchbox and sets it on the stove beside her frying pan. She draws out a knife from her hunting bag and begins chopping the ham into square little bits while humming a nonsense song about weasels and stoats having a wedding in a moor. Once the ham is chopped, she hooks the skinning knife to its little band on her tail.)

(Nakori gently removes a wine-soaked dead rat from the skillet on her portable stove and holds it up in front of her, thumb and forefinger tucked under its little arms. She pries its mouth open, and begins popping the ham bits into its throat, eventually shoving them down with a small stick until the rodent's abdomen begins to bulge. When no more ham bits can be shoved inside, she shovels the final pawful into her own mouth and chews away as she lays the rat down on its back in the skillet.)

(Nakori again unhooks the skinning knife from her tail and makes a quick, precise slit down the rat's body, from neck to tail, and with a little more slicing and scraping, manages to pry the skin away from its body in two neat flaps. She flips the rat over then, and taking a small pot of honey from her lunchbox, pours it generously over the rodent's fur, smoothing it out with her knife until its golden shimmer is even. She pauses a moment to consider her work, and jams the knife into the back of the rat's neck, working it back and forth until the head pops off. She quickly pops it in her mouth and a few loud crunches later, swallows with a happy little put-put-put purr.)

(Nakori next takes a slice of crispy bacon from her lunchbox and lays it out on a smooth portion of the stove. She chops it into crumbly little bacon bits and scoops it into a pile, hooks the knife back on her tail, then proceeds to haul an unlonchai bucket labeled "MiLKsHAkEs" from her hunting bag. Her tail bristles as she reaches into the bucket, but eventually she withdraws a firm, semi-frozen block of plain-looking butter. She places it on a plate balanced on the edge of the stove, licks her claws clean, and drizzles the bacon bits over the butter.)

(Nakori turns back to her sizzling rat in its skillet, and gives it a few prods to make sure its not sticking to the bottom. She gives it a good sniff, lifts the skin flaps to display how crispily they've cooked, and gestures happily at the crystalizing honey dripping off it. With ears held proudly, she retrieves the most important part of her recipe: a glass bottle filled with dark brown sludge labeled "BARBEcEwt sAws", and upends the entire thing over the rat, momentarily drowning out the sizzling sounds and filling the air with a thick hickory smell. She waits a few moments for the sauce to congeal, and then carefully picks up the skillet and rolls the rat onto the plate with the pat of bacon-topped butter. She tucks the skin flaps back over its fire-blackened belly, and spends a few moments fidgeting around until everything is arranged just-so on the plate.)

Nakori ceremoniously exclaims, "I call this... Nakori's Barbecued Rat-Stuffed-With-Ham, with a side of Bacon-Crumble Butter!"

Nakori meekly says, "Um, usually there's a stick in the butter, but I forgot. Anyway, it is better to lick your fingers clean after eating it."

Nakori meekly says, "I stuffed the rat with ham bits, and then coated it in honey and fried it up on the skillet so the skin is all crinkly, and then soaked it in barbecue sauce, and the butter is nice and cold so you don't burn your mouth on the rat."

(Nakori holds her plate out to Bottura, her tail bristling nervously behind her.)

Bottura says, "Interesting."

Bottura steps up to Nakori's dish and with a glaes fork, she takes a sample.

Nakori proudly says, "The honey ham was provided by Lady Lilena Tummyrawr, the other honey I collected myself, the barbecue sauce is a recipe from Charpig, with some special perfume from Muspar'i to really make it smokey, the rat was captured by a fellow Prydaen and soaked in wine for a day or two with some other rats in a bowl, and, um... the butter I got from my wife's parents' farm in Arthe Dale! I think its goat butter. I helped milk the goat. And Aislynn made me the bacon."

Bottura asks, "And the butter is intended to be eaten after the rat, or all in one bite together?"

Nakori meekly says, "Oh, you can put it on the rat, or eat it after, or before... any way you like to eat butter."