Item:Slightly skewed song scroll
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| slightly skewed song scroll | |
|---|---|
| Look: | This is a Bardic scroll, enscribed with the non-magical Bard song "Itharr's Song". It must be studied to be used. If it is being read by another, no one but that person can study it. |
| Weight: | 5 stones |
| Metal: | Unknown |
| Appraised Cost: | 1,000 Kronars800 Lirums <br />721.6 Dokoras <br />1 LTBpoints <br />1 Tickets <br />1 Scrips <br /> |
| Properties: |
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| Dimensions: | ? length x ? width x ? height |
| Sources: | Sold by Barley Bulrush's Bardic Ballads for 1,000 Kronars Source is Barley Bulrush's Bardic Ballads |
Song
You begin to sing "Itharr's Song", by Joy Chanticleer.
- "It was a last minute invitation
- I didn't know what Rock Trolls were.
- So when Itharr told me that I'd have a good time,
- Well of course -- I said 'Sure'!"
- "At first I was careful and cautious (really!)
- But then he was hit -- now he's stunned, (oops!)
- So I decided it's up to me to save his hide --
- Omigawd ... what have I done?"
- "What was I thinking?
- How can this be?
- It just tossed a rock that I think may be bigger'n me!"
- "What was I thinking?
- Which way is home?
- Do you think my goddess is looking, cause I'm on the ground."
- "Well you all know I'm somewhat impulsive,
- And sometimes I am slow to learn.
- So when Itharr told me Wind Hounds weren't too hard,
- Well, the hunt I'd not spurn!"
- "As always I held back and was prudent (sure)
- A model of valor and might. (uh huh)
- But I never did pass kindergarten
- And I can't tell my left from my right!"
- "What was I thinking?
- Who is this guy
- With lightning around him, hitting me -- I'm going to die."
- "What was I thinking?
- (You can't hit with your shield?!)
- Do you think I can convince this guy that he ought to yield?"
- You smile ruefully, saying, "Let me assure you, this is NOT the recommended way to try to deal with a faenrae reaver!"
- "Oh Hodierna, my favorite deity,
- We've got to stop meeting like this.
- You see Itharr told me that I'd like crocodiles,
- And, well, my brain...I've never missed!"
- "We went in and I saw these big lizards, (Wheee!)
- And I figured I could handle them. (honest)
- So there I was, swinging my ol' battle axe
- When the croc shed a tear, and then...blam!"
- "What was I thinking?
- Can I try that again?
- I'm sure that someone's done dumber things, I just don't know when."
- "What was I thinking?
- Ack, I'm starting to leak?
- It's dreadfully messy inside me, I don't wanna peek."
- "I'd never seen a Beisswurm
- Nor a Cave Bear, so Itharr took me.
- But somehow I fell over when I swung my sword
- A dread monster -- called 'Fatigue'!"
- "So I looked into my backpack and I found
- Six chests, one trunk, four coffers, that's it.
- Well, unless you count that suit of chainmail --
- Tell me where I got all of this...stuff?"
- "What was I thinking?
- What was I, blind?
- When I picked all this up I must have been out of my mind."
- "What was I thinking?
- Where'd I get this junk?
- I have never...hardly ever...right now, I'm not drunk!"
You dissolve into giggling, ending the song.