Diary of Ninrak Suwl, The

The following diary was given to the Great Library of Riverhaven by Brok
Hwag, Barbarian Gor'Tog, to my predecessor, and I feel it is of sufficient
interest to remove it from the archives and place it in circulation so that
the curious may have another source of information on the fabled land of
Fostramor.  The original is safely stored away.  This is merely a copy.
  
The diary was found in the hands of a skeleton (presumably Ninrak's) buried
under a collapsed, abandoned Farmhouse northeast of Theren's Keep.  Despite
several attempts to discover further evidence to what Ninrak refers, no
more information remains.  The reader should be warned that the diary is
very incomplete as the forces of nature and such had plenty of time to
destroy the major part.  
   
Portions in brackets [] are my interpretation and are not in the original.
   
Yilthi Stormsight, Curator.

The Diary of Ninrak Suwl

"Wherever I lie my head, whether near or far, my heart always longs for Fostramor." Elonhama Falae, Second Seer to Yu Shatr Moq.

That quote I found shoved into the shoe of a goblin I killed on a winter's afternoon on the northern face of the Dragonspine nearest the Holy Dragon. I am Ninrak Suwl, Moon Mage and Discoveror of Secrets.

Three days journey north and four days east under the rubble of Inklen Hovel I found the greatest treasure of my life. That quote from Elonhama was just the beginning of an extraordinary hunt.

You who read this will not know me though I have found many things worthy of great renown. I chose to hide all my discoveries and live a life of anonymity (though I should have Lords and scholars envious of all I've accomplished) since fame brings the curious and with the curious, thieves.

As it is, all of my great discoveries lie within my home. There they are safe. But I take no comfort in that anymore for great misfortune has visited me and it seems I may never return to my home. I cannot bear it that my hand may never again touch the things I found, my eyes to trace their beauty or my mind to search out what secrets they may yet hold.

Ahh, this is the truly the core of the pain I feel. It is not my crushed legs or the weight of the rubble upon my waist. It is the secrets that will forever now be out of my reach. How I long for my study where I could consort with my love. For knowledge was my woman; the holder of all that was sacred in my life. I never had so perfect a lover, nor cause to wish for another. I'm sure that many would think this strange, but there are those who will understand so I speak shamelessly. For what do I care. Soon I will die.

My only regret is never to have discovered the secret of Fostramor. The quote above has teased me for many years. How the goblin came upon it I never discovered. Up until then, I'd never seen a goblin with shoes or even one so high in the mountains. I had simply come searching for a clue to the whereabouts of the white dragons when fate changed my life forever--to think I nearly threw away the shoes. I guess it was my curiosity that made me pick through them. As disgusting as that may seem, my curiosity has served me well, at least until today.

I have kept good notes in my other diary and whoever finds them will have no difficulty retracing my steps. But I had not time to write the details of what transpired today, so I shall try to do so now. I think it will be easier now as the pain in my legs has stopped. They are now merely numb.

Strange! In a way, I feel rather exhilarated, as if some potion had entered my blood and healed my body. Maybe I shall get out of this after all. Hah!

No, I am still stuck and I can see the pool of blood grow larger. My head is merely light and the feeling of euphoria is gone. I do not feel well at all. I fear I will soon be unable to write. Odd that I am writing this at all. I am a jealous sort and would rather let my secrets die with me rather than let them be seen by some random passerby.

It hurts to laugh. But I can't help but smile. I'm sure that some Gor'Tog sot will find my remains and use my diary for toilet paper. Gor'Togs are brutes and stupid. It is amazing the Eloth ever lower themselves to[...]

[handwriting becomes erratic here]

My discoveries will be lost! All of them. This is not fair. I am still young. May you fall off the starry path and into the black fissure where you will fall unending, torn and yet alive forever. Everywhere, but nowhere, a moment of eternity, a flash to the living, a never ending agony for the dead.

Maybe the Urem'tier will have mercy on my. It has happened before. I should have tended to my favors. Yet, the Gods have been know to return a soul to life, even in old age. I cannot be less worthy than them. I am more worth even. Besides, a cleric might wander in who knows how to resurrect

It is strange. I thought It was midday. Time must be moving faster than I thought. There is no hope for me now, I think. It's a strange peace I feel. I wonder if this is what is meant by Foster Haven? I have been rather foolish. If I die and no one knows of my work or the secrets I found, it will be as if I have accomplished nothing. I do not wish my legacy to be bones under rubble, scattered by wild beasts or used by a goblin seer. Heh, though I think it would be rather fitting that anther moon mage would use my bones to predict the future. It is not unheard of the bones of a great moon mage ahh but I am not great.

My mind. It is fear where is the light? Found Fostramor[?]. Death is cold Cold

Alive why gods playFostramo[r]

Seek ring buried giant

never found

Fos[t]r[amor]

End

The ending of the diary is quite disjointed and may be misleading. Some speculate that he was referring to a legend and there is no ring buried by a giant. The comment "never found" may refer to the ring or to Fostramor. It may be that he found Fostramor in death (that is consistent with certain teachings about Fostramor) while others speculate that on the day he died, he had found something that would have led him to the real Fostramor.

The other referenced diary was never found. This diary had earlier entries but they were almost entirely destroyed: partly burned, partly wiped out by water damage and still others ripped out of the book. Of what little has been translated, none of it refers to Fostramor. Who may have ripped out the pages of the diary is unknown (the GorTog denied damaging the diary). They could have been taken by birds who needed to line their nest or used by an earlier passerby who needed tinder for a fire.

Subsequent visits to the abandoned Farmhouse left no indications it had suffered from fire and the cause of the burnt pages is unknown. Some speculate that the God of Fostramor took vengeance on Ninrak and destroyed his diary (though why the above excerpt was so flawlessly preserved would be quite a mystery).

My theory is that the passerby who stole the pages originally tried to use the book to light a fire, but it was too wet to work well and so they took some pages to dry out later and then threw the book back to where it was.

You may have your own theory, but at least this one fits all the known facts.

FOSTRAMOR

For those who are unfamiliar with the legends surrounding Fostramor, I'll recount some of the highlights here.

Fostramor means The Great Peace and it is both a place and a reward. Legend has it that to get to Fostramor you must pass through Fostra's Haven. No one knows where Fostra's Haven is. However, it is part of the legend that if a mortal ever finds Fostramor, they will become immortal and gain complete wisdom. Whether this place is real or not, it has fired the imagination of adventurers for centuries. It seems to be entwined with each of the races.

For the elves, Foster Haven is where the old elves traveled at the end of their lives in the days when elves dominated our world.

For the Humans, it's Fostra's Gate and is the final stop on the Starry Road after death.

For Gor'Togs, it's Fostra's Stronghold and is the ultimate place of protection.

For the Eloth, it's Fostra's Haven and they believe their souls travel over the waters after they die to Fostramor and ultimate wisdom.

For the Halfling, it's Fostra's Inn, where all are free and merry forever.

For the Skra Mur, it's Fostra's Nest and is a place where the Skra return to childhood and the egg to be reborn into a perfect life.

For the Dwarf, it's Fostra's Mountain, where only the purest minerals are mined. This is a place in this world for the Dwarf and none of their legends indicate that Fostra's Mountain is found beyond life.

For all, though, Fostra's Haven (the most commonly used term for all races) is an ideal place. Even if it once existed, its been so idealized, the current legends about it cant be accurate.