Post:Best alterer ever - 06/10/2013 - 01:06

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best alterer ever · on 06/10/2013 01:06 AM CDT 2104
also... fastest clearing list ever...


Baergurt staggers in through the flap.

You see Baergurt Stunkul, a Dwarf.
Baergurt has a square-jawed face with heavy jowls, twitching black eyes and a bulbous nose. His amber-streaked honey hair is shoulder length and curly, and is worn matted down on top in a serious case of "helmet hair". He has pockmarked skin and a pot-bellied build.
He is slightly under average height for a Dwarf.
He appears to be an adult.
He has a thick bushy mustache that droops heavily on his upper lip and a long shaggy beard.
He is in good shape.

He is holding a dagger in his right hand.
He is wearing one red sock, one grey sock, an ornate platinum brooch set with an orichalcum icosahedron, a canvas miner's backpack, a stained shirt that is buttoned crookedly, a dented iron ring, a pewter drinking flask, some brown pants with a ripped knee and some filthy steel-toed boots.
>

Baergurt lets out a loud belch.
Baergurt blushes a bright red color.

>
Baergurt rubs his tummy a little.

Baergurt closes one eye.

You sniff the air, detecting the faint scent of stale beer clinging to Baergurt's skin.

Baergurt opens his eyes and looks around again.
>
Baergurt blinks.

Baergurt closes the other eye.

Baergurt drunkenly says, "Oh, thats better. Now there's one of everyone."


Baergurt nods.

Baergurt wobbles over toward the list.
>
Baergurt leans against a waiting list.

Baergurt drunkenly says, "Ok. I'm ok. No, no. I'm ok really."
>
Baergurt nods.

Baergurt drunkenly says, "So I'ma work! An earn money to fill me flask."
>
Baergurt nods.


Baergurt drunkenly says, "We'll find out I guess."
Baergurt lets out a loud belch. A nasty stench wafts past your nose.

Baergurt drunkenly asks, "Does anyone know how this thing works?"


Baergurt pushes the list.


Baergurt kicks the list, and nearly falls over!

Baergurt puts a hand on the list and shakes it.

Baergurt drunkenly says, "I want somethin' alright. I need your money."


>
Baergurt carefully hefts his dagger, then closes his eyes. Carelessly, he flings it.

The weapon flies, then hits the wall with a solid thwack, just inches from Anjinson's face!

Baergurt barks, "Looks like Anjinson is the lucky one."
Baergurt strides over and yanks his dagger out of the wall.
Baergurt fixes Anjinson with a gruff, unwavering stare.
>
Baergurt drunkenly says, "Lets get to work. Gimme somethin'."

Baergurt slowly raises one hand and covers his left eye again.


Baergurt concentrates intently while he fiddles with the longcoat.

Baergurt fiddles with the coat a little more, then stops to catch his breath a moment.
Baergurt belches loudly.
Baergurt bites his tongue between his teeth and goes back to work.
Baergurt's eyes bulge out for a moment, and then he furiously rubs at the back of the coat.
Baergurt puts some final touches on the longcoat.

Baergurt nods.
>
Baergurt drunkenly exclaims, "Its good!"
Baergurt carefully hefts his dagger, then closes his eyes. Carelessly, he flings it.

The weapon flies, then hits the wall with a solid thwack, just inches from Uthgaar's face!

Baergurt barks, "Looks like Uthgaar is the lucky one."
Baergurt strides over and yanks his dagger out of the wall.

a heavy shadesatin longcoat with a crude drawing in the back. A stick figure of a human man with a sloppy paper hat on it's head covers the entire back of the longcoat."

He is holding a tyrium hurling axe with a crude etching on the blade in his right hand.

sR>
Baergurt fixes Uthgaar with a gruff, unwavering stare.
sR>
Baergurt drunkenly asks Uthgaar, "You like?"
Uthgaar shows you a tyrium hurling axe with a crude etching on the blade. Two round circles sit alongside a sloppily scratched flask.
s>

You say, "Everyone's fleeing the list."
s> grin
You grin.

Sendithu removes her name from the waiting list.
s>
Baergurt drunkenly says, "You wasnt, I looked real good."


Rifkinn removes his name from the waiting list.
s>
Anjinson says, "You must have saw the other me."


Cyiarriah asks, "Could you maybe draw a detailed map of the province of Zoluren on it?"
s>
Baergurt grins stupidly.
s>

Baergurt scrubs at the crest on the bag.
Baergurt drunkenly exclaims, "I can!"
s>
Anjinson says, "He sure can."
s>
Cyiarriah grins.
s>
Rajara says, "Careful he might hurt himself and sue ya."


Baergurt works on his design, furiously rubbing away lines here and there when hemakes a mistake.


He is holding a salt-stained leather duffel bag with an uneven circle drawn on the side in his right hand.

Baergurt bites his tongue between his teeth and appraises his work.

Baergurt drunkenly says, "I didn' rub out the letters on there. I can't read, so I didn' know what it said."s>
Cyiarriah shows you a salt-stained leather duffel bag with an uneven circle drawn on the side. A series of slashes and crisscross the lopsided circle. A large, uneven star rests in the center of the drawing.
Baergurt's head bobs a little bit and his eyes slip closed.
Baergurt belches loudly. A nasty stench wafts past your nose.
Baergurt drunkenly says, "I think I needa minute."


Baergurt stretches every limb of his body from where he lies, ending with an expression of extreme contentment.
Baergurt rolls over onto his side and plumps the cushion up under his head.

Baergurt snores, a sound fit to make teeth vibrate.

sleeps for awhile, people mess with his hair...


Baergurt drunkenly asks, "What was I doin'?"


Baergurt drunkenly exclaims, "Oh!"


Baergurt drunkenly exclaims, "I'm workin'!"
Baergurt drunkenly says, "I forgot for a minute."

Dithers frets.
s>
Baergurt carefully hefts his dagger, then closes his eyes. Carelessly, he flings it.

The weapon flies, then hits the wall with a solid thwack, just inches from Dithers's face!

Baergurt barks, "Looks like Dithers is the lucky one."
Baergurt strides over and yanks his dagger out of the wall.
s>
Dithers exclaims to himself, "Eep!"

Rolondolf says, "Im not sure if his aim is getting better or worse."

Baergurt drunkenly asks Dithers, "Really, you want it like that?"


Dithers asks Baergurt, "I... trust?"
s>
Dithers says, "You."
s>
Baergurt drunkenly says to Dithers, "I can."


Baergurt nods to Dithers.
s>
Dithers nods.
s>
Baergurt casually observes the area.
s>
Baergurt uses the shroud to wipe up the coffee he spilled.

Rifkinn laughs!
s>
Baergurt offers Dithers a desert shroud with a large brown stain on it.
Dithers says, "I'll fit in at the next mocha themed ball."
s>
Dithers says, "Nice."
Dithers shows you a desert shroud with a large brown stain on it. It looks as if someone wiped up a puddle of coffee with it.


Dithers shows you a desert shroud with a large brown stain on it. It looks as if someone wiped up a puddle of coffee with it.


You say to Cyiarriah, "Fastest list ever."
You say, "And he slept through it halfway too."

Cyiarriah says, "People don't know what they are missing."
s>
Cyiarriah looks at you and shrugs.
s>
Cyiarriah takes a sip of her coffee.



Baergurt holds the bola up next to Rolondolf and compares the two.

He is holding a bola with a crude etching down the haft in his right hand.


Baergurt drunkenly exclaims, "I can do more!"


A Festival guardsman just came through a wide canvas flap that leads out.
>
A Festival guardsman squints.
>
Cyiarriah raises an eyebrow.
You also see a Festival guardsman, a mug of mocha coffee, a honey-brown long-haired aurochs with long black horns, a sulking Shadow Servant, a thin metal circle, a wide canvas flap that leads out, a carved copperwood table with several things on it and a waiting list.

Baergurt stands behind Cyiarriah, trying to be discreet.

Baergurt whistles a merry tune.
>
Cyiarriah blinks at Baergurt.
>
Lanita grins at a Festival guardsman

A Festival guardsman quickly advances on Baergurt, snatching him up by his neck and giving him a solid shake.

s>
A Festival guardsman says, "There you are! I told you once, filth, no one is going to buy your crap."


You grin.
s>
A Festival guardsman exclaims, "Get out of our festival!"
s> snick
You snicker.
s>
Baergurt flails his arms about.


s>
Osus says, "Something says this wasnt legit.."
s>
Ceranora chortles softly at some secret joke.
s>
Osus snickers.


A Festival guardsman gives Baergurt a solid kick.


Baergurt drunkenly says, "But I needed ta earn some money."


s>
Cyiarriah asks, "Do you have a supervisor?"

Cyiarriah peers quizzically at a Festival guardsman.
s>
Synamon kicks some rubble on a Festival guardsman in disgust.



Baergurt drunkenly exclaims, "They paid!"
s>
Uthgaar gives Baergurt some coins.
s>
Sendithu gives Baergurt some coins.

>
Baergurt drunkenly exclaims, "They liked my work!"

>
A Festival guardsman says, "I don't give a bird's foot what you need, scum. You're coming with me."
>
Rolondolf shows you a bola with a crude etching down the haft. A small circle sits above a long, straight line. Two shorter lines bisect the upper and lower end of the long line, with tiny circles at the ends. You see the initials "C. M." impressed into the surface of the metal.

> look guards
Dressed in festive livery, the large Gor'Tog guardsman spends ample time drawing attention to a thick cudgel hanging from his belt.


>
A Festival guardsman exclaims, "You people are idiots. Letting a drunk scribble all over your things. This is not the quality we want here!"


A Festival guardsman exclaims, "You, come along!"


A Festival guardsman grabs up Baerhurt and huals him toward the exit, pressing a cudgel into his back the whole way.

This message was originally posted in Events and Happenings in DragonRealms' Elanthia \ Festivals / Merchants, by POWERHAUS on the play.net forums.