Barbarian Spell Book, The
The Barbarian Spell Book
By Grooba Gligtoggle
A! A is for Agonar! YAY AGONAR!
B! B is for US! YAY US!
C! C is what you do with your eyes!
D! D is for how we make things! Dead!
E! E is the noise Gnomes make when you squeeze too hard! Eeeeeee!
F! F is for four, which is how many of us it took to think up a good F word!
G! G is for goofy Gauthus! BOO GAUTHUS!
H! H is for HAHAHAHAHA! The sound we make when we are happy! Hey that's H, too! So is hey! HEY! HAHAHAHAHA!
I! I is for me! YAY ME!
J! J is for jail, where you go when you roar in town! BAD JAIL!
K! K is for K! Wanna go kill stuff? K!
L! L is for logic. Uh. Let's just skip to M, ok?
M! M is for Mo! YAY MO!
N! N is where you put things after you take em out! Duh!
O! O is for O! Agonar says I need to know more! Ooooo! Now I'm sad. Boo hoo! MEAN AGONAR!
P! P is what people do when they see us! HAHAHAHAHA!
Q! Q is for what every other guild should do! QUIT! HAHAHAHA!
R! R is for the noise pirates make! Arrrr!
S! S is for swords! Sharp swords! Sharp swords to stab in skulls! HAHAHAHA! WE LOVE S! S IS FOR ALL THE GOOD STUFF! YAY S!
T! T is what stupid pansy mages drink! HAHAHA!
U! U is who's reading this book, dummy!
V! V is for valetudinarian, someone who pays excessive attention to preserving his health. (Editors Note: Apparently, the collective individuals who penned this literary masterpiece failed to remember the letter "V" and (possessing a modicum of valetudinarianism myself) I felt it would be most efficacious to put something here of my own volition, as opposed to informing the "authors" of their oversight. Trust me. Twas simpler this way.)
W! Double U? Two people are reading this book now? HAHAHA! I made a joke! That's funny!
X! X is where you are on the map. Sometimes. When you're in the right spot.
Y! Y is what the people say to us! "Why did you kill us all? Why are you so great? Why are you so powerful? Why? Why? Why?" HAHAHAHA!
Z! Z is what noise we made when we finished this thinking up this book! Zzzzzzzzzzz!