Handbook of Hygienic Housekeeping (book)

Maudie Prudynce's
Handbook of Hygienic Housekeeping

Foreword

It is a scandal that so few ladies know how to run a proper house anymore. In times past, mothers diligently instructed their daughters and ladies mentored students in this art. Having benefited myself from such a mentors, foremost among them Meralla al'Tresnith of Tamsine's Rest, it is now my honor to pass such wisdom as I can to ladies who would find such schooling useful.

... affectionately dedicated to Hayreit Wilsen.

Introduction

Over the many decades of my life, chance and mischance have brought me to live in all the known provinces of Elanthia, save for Therenborough, and finally to rest in Mer'Kresh. During this time, I have run a number of establishments which cater to the finer classes of citizens, and which have thrived from their benevolence and repeat custom. The intent of this compendium is to instruct similarly situated ladies of the importance of cleanliness and congeniality so that they too can enjoy the prosperity that a well-ordered home brings.

There are four topics of consequence which a lady must thoroughly comprehend in order to be successful in her pursuits: housekeeping, health, attire, and culinary skills. It is beyond the scope of this volume to render basic tuition of these skills. Rather, the author presumes a certain understanding on the part of the reader and hopes to provide enlightenment upon obscure practices in these arts.

Housekeeping

Housekeeping is perhaps the least appreciated of these four essential topics, as a lady frequently believes that visitors are content solely with a savory meal and entertaining companionship. However, a clean and stylish decor lifts the atmosphere from one of low character to that of respectable Quality.

Following are some methods I have found particularly useful for problems ladies frequently encounter.

Egg stains on silver can be removed by rubbing with a salt.

Should signs of rats be found, slice several corks thinly, about the width of a copper lirum. Stew the slivers of cork in grease, then scatter them where the rat will be likely to encounter them. The rat, being attracted to what it believes a savory meal, will devour the cork, then die of indigestion. Similarly, should you find an infestation of ants, sprinkle a small trail of hartshorn either in their path, or in a circle around their mound. The ants will consume the powder, which reacts unfavorably with their internal juices and causes them to explode.

Creaking doors are the bane of a private and restful home. Rub a sliver of dry soap on the door hinges to correct this problem.

Many guests will come to visit directly from their wandering in dangerous wilderness areas, and will oftentimes be affected by the insects found in those regions. To prevent vermin from infesting the bedding, use mattresses stuffed with beech leaves, which have been dried by baking. Such filling is not only aromatic, it is also quite springy.

Health

A pure complexion and sweet personal scent assures a guest that they are visiting a home in which their own comfort and health is valued. While no substitute for true health, artifice, used sparingly, can keep a lady's spirit cheerful and help her ease into her mature years gracefully. These few innocent practices are recommended.

Should eyebrows and eyelashes be thinning or pale, darken them by rubbing lightly with either burnt cork or burnt cloves until the desired shade is achieved.

To alleviate grayness from hair and pallor from skin, pour boiling water over crushed and dried sage. Let the mixture rest several days to ripen. Strain, and apply daily.

Beeswax melted into a several drops of almond or olive oil will help hold curls in place and give hair a fulsome shine.

Even the happiest nature occasionally suffers from nervous afflictions. Should a friend be feeling poorly, an excellent remedy can be made thusly: pound several spoonsful of caraway seeds into powder, then sprinkle with salt and grated ginger to flavor. Spread a generous amount upon a slice of bread or use to fill a biscuit. Soon, the individual will be much improved and no longer require this palliative.

Chewing parsley will remove the smell of bitter onion from the breath.

At times, friends may imbibe too heavily of strong beverages. To alleviate the discomfort that often results, supply a small cup of hot salted water, and an equal portion of sugared vinegar to be drunk immediately afterward. This is best administered in the garden.

Attire

While physical appearance is of extreme importance in the impression a lady's guests have about her skills in householding, a lady's raiment and her ability to care for that of her friends' is of equal concern. As each lady should be encouraged to cultivate her own unique style, my direction is not toward matters of taste -- other than a passing comment that grace is not garish. More, my purpose is to impress again the necessity for cleanliness and quality.

Leather can be cleaned without resorting to the expense of a leather craftsman for every small imperfection. Gentleman engaged in professions requiring robust protection will be appreciative of your skill. Should you find your guest's leather items to be greasy, rub a small quantity of eggwhite onto the spot, allow it to dry in the sun, then brush the affected area.

A few sprigs of lavender inside the clothespress will give personal linens a pleasant aroma and serve to mask unfavorable bodily effusions.

To restore crispness and luster to silks, sponge the outside of the fiber with strong fig-leaf tea, then press from the inside with a heated iron.

Dampening petticoats and bodices before dressing will create an attractive, snug silhouette without the unsightly wrinkles and bulging which results from wearing too-small garments.

Culinary skills

A lady desiring the highest reputation must be vigilant in serving only the best quality refreshments. Elegant presentation, while effective, cannot mask souring vegetables or rancid meat. Likewise, fine glassware does not make a fine wine.

Frequently, visitors wish only a little wine over conversation. Be frugal where else you can, but do not be lured into false economy by cheap wine. Sadly, there are roguish shopkeepers who would try to cheat honest ladies by supplying adulterated merchandise. To test the purity of spirits, pour some into a spoon and set fire to it. Good spirits will burn brightly and be consumed entirely by the flame without leaving any moisture in the spoon.

Likewise, be cautious of impure flour. To assess flour, take a small quantity and apply several drops of lemon juice. If the flour is tainted, the juice will bubble.

The freshness of eggs can be determined by either of these methods: firstly, if movement can be felt when shaking an egg then it is old; secondly, an old egg is smooth and shiny but fresh egg is rough and dull.

Finally, there is no better meal than a trencher of boiled cabbage and eels to fortify oneself for the evening. Yet, for all its virtues, preparing cabbage can introduce an unpleasant scent into the house. Dropping several whole walnuts into the cabbage water as it boils will prevent odors.

End

Should you find this compendium to have been of use, other volumes of interest and value by my hand include: The Meaning of Flowers, Fan Fancy, and Recipes for Entertaining.

All are available at exclusive booksellers and choice libraries.