Squanto

Squanto
Status
Race	Kaldar
Gender	Male
Guild	Barbarian
Instance	Prime

Description

You see War Monger Squanto Enyo, Scourge of Elanthia, a Kaldaran Barbarian.
He has crystal blue eyes. His platinum hair is shoulder length and thick, and is worn arranged in a mohawk. He has copper skin and a burly build.
He is a bit over average height for a Kaldar.
A heavily faceted water-hued dwalgim rests on his forehead, just above his eyes.

He is wearing a bright pink balaclava, a verdant enameled hairstick in the shape of an outstretched dragon, a barbarian's black eyepatch covered in vulture feathers to simulate a bird of prey, a barbarian's earring carved from kertig to resemble a tiny forge, a long pair of sunrise-pink diamond earrings, a platinum clenched fist pendant clutching a carved ivory sword, a somber chakrel headstone amulet hung from an oiled leather strand, a Barbarian Guild boutonniere displaying a Crimson Massacre carnation, a dried yellow slug, a petrified corpse grub, a tiny oval-shaped crystal embedded with a miniature ruby dragon, a ruby nose-stud carved to resemble a drop of blood, a silver keg-shaped badge stamped "Neck Snapper", a hex lily boutonniere inked with the word "Minion" on one flaring pink petal, a steel Soldier's badge, an Elanthic gold medal for Melee, some fuzzy pink pajamas with feet, a pastel pink velvet robe, a hammered silver epaulet chased with the crest of the Barbarian's Guild, a barbarian's wristlet made of cured kelpie leather and interlaced goblin bones, a blackened silver ru'at bracelet inset with blue-white diamonds, some steel hand claws tipped with sharpened golden katambite, a platinum ring set with the Barbarians' Guild crest, a gold ring bearing the crest of the Barbarian's Guild, a rugged leather weapons belt with a Barbarians' Guild crest buckle, a bright pink sling, a blood red linen hip pouch woven in black with dancing barbarians, some sleek snakeskin fighting pants with a wide leather waistband, some black socks studded with bone fragments forming a skull and crossbones, a pair of supple black leather boots embossed with fierce dragons and a TON of other stuff (good thing he is HUGE).

Things Every Adventurer Should Know About Squanto

- Squanto does not live in Elanthia, Elanthia lives around him.

- Clanthew Boulevard used to be called Squanto Boulevard, but it was changed because no one crosses Squanto and lives.

- The world dragon isn’t sleeping, it is hiding from Squanto’s Dragon Dance.

- Squanto doesn't ride the gondola, Ilithi and Zoluren move closer together when he glares at them.

- Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Squanto stories.

- Squanto was once bit by a giant thicket viper. After three days of agonizing pain... the viper died.

- Every time Squanto looks into a mirror, it shatters. Even a mirror is not stupid enough to get between Squanto and Squanto.

- Squanto does not play on a togball team, he is the togball team.

- When life gave Squanto lemons, he made lemonade, a bone-crushing slice scimitar, a playpen for his 12 baby mammoths, and an Incinerate rune that he ate for a snack.

- Squanto doesn’t swim, the water just parts to let him through.

- On the Ice Road, Squanto does not get frostbite. Squanto bites frost.

- Squanto does not chew gum, he chews iron.

- Squanto does not put sugar in his tea, he uses naphtha.

- Squanto tried to get a haircut once. His hair grabbed the scissors and stabbed the barber in the eye.

- Squanto can punch a gelv cyclops between the eye.

- Squanto never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

- Squanto once got in a knife fight. The knife lost.

- Squanto was not born, he was created when one of Hodierna's tears fell into a vat of molten kertig.