Without My Pride: Difference between revisions
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
No edit summary |
(Redirecting to Without my Pride (book)) |
||
(2 intermediate revisions by the same user not shown) | |||
Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
#redirect [[Without my Pride (book)]] |
|||
{{wikify}} |
|||
"Without my Pride" -- The Story of Cemsiat |
|||
It is said that there is no redemption for one who has |
|||
fallen -- that they are forever cursed to roam the land alone. |
|||
It is known that one will be denied absolution for one's |
|||
crimes, barring the intervention of only She who can -- |
|||
Tenemlor. One will find no rest, and scant comfort along the |
|||
remainder of one's life journey. Inevitably, one will die |
|||
alone, deprived of whatever hope one might have had, and |
|||
completely forgotten by the society in which one used to live. |
|||
One will only know of suffering, reminding one of the tragic |
|||
actions which brought this fate to pass. |
|||
Such a fate befell my ancestor, whose crime was the most |
|||
severe one of the people can commit. He was the first, and |
|||
therefore all those who act as he did bear his name as well, |
|||
but thankfully, the name has only been taken by a few since |
|||
since then. It is his ordeal and the shame that accompanied |
|||
it that continue to serve as a constant reminder to the rest |
|||
rest of our people. |
|||
However, there is more to tell on my ancestor's behalf; |
|||
eventually he did find redemption and was granted peace by |
|||
Tenemlor. His story is an important aspect of the people's |
|||
culture and lifestyle, and therefore one feels compelled to |
|||
record it for future generations to read. You will find it |
|||
is in his own words, for there is no other who could tell it |
|||
better. What follows is also merely the beginning, and there |
|||
is no better place to start. May what is contained here serve |
|||
as a guide to the way things were, and show that life has few |
|||
absolutes. |
|||
Ra'sulor |
|||
Claw of Eu |
|||
Mid-summer was quickly approaching, and the rains had |
|||
not yet come to the jungle near Amberglen Hub. I crouched |
|||
low in the underbrush with the scent of my prey heavy upon |
|||
my nostrils. |
|||
So close was I that if I listened carefully I could hear |
|||
the life-beat pounding out a steady rhythm. The sound it made |
|||
was music to my ears, and I sensed the bloodlust starting to |
|||
rise within me. Soon would come the moment to pounce, and the |
|||
world around me faded into some obscure place; all that existed |
|||
was the prey. Suddenly, a new scent assailed me, and a low |
|||
snarl escaped from my throat. It was instinctual, but also a |
|||
mistake as my prey bounded away deeper into the brush. |
|||
"Tagol, you have once again cost me my kill." I said. |
|||
"Have I now? Perhaps you are not so great a hunter as |
|||
you would have the Pride believe, eh, Cemsiat?" remarked my |
|||
unwelcome intruder. |
|||
I gave little notice to his insulting comment. Many of |
|||
the other males in the Pride were jealous of my skills, Tagol |
|||
foremost amongst them, and I had become somewhat numb to their |
|||
never-ending attempts to prove me the lesser Prydaen. Besides, |
|||
I had more pressing matters to attend to. So I quietly dis- |
|||
appeared deeper into the brush, leaving Tagol talking to the |
|||
trees behind me. |
|||
It took very little time for me to regain the scent of my |
|||
prey, and I quickly began setting it up for the kill. Soon I |
|||
would have my prize, the last item necessary to gain Siralor's |
|||
favor. No, it was not customary that I do this in order for us |
|||
to become life-mates, but ours was not the ordinary love, and |
|||
therefore it called for something different. There was nothing |
|||
I would not do for her, though she hardly needed or required |
|||
such attentions from me. After all, she was near my equal in |
|||
skill, where hunting was concerned. |
|||
With no further interruptions from Tagol, I made short |
|||
work of the beast with my claws. There is something pure and |
|||
euphoric about looking down upon a fresh kill, knowing that you |
|||
were the better. Taking its heart, as I always do, I quenched |
|||
the bloodlust burning within me, finishing it in a few frenzied |
|||
bites. I then cleaned and dressed the kill, preparing for the |
|||
long journey home. |
|||
Night had fallen long before I returned to Amberglen, the |
|||
bonfire raging in the central clearing serving as a bright |
|||
beacon that welcomed me back into civilization. Siralor, |
|||
eyeing the bundle slung over my shoulders, flashed me a feral |
|||
grin. Even from such a distance as was currently between us, |
|||
I could see the pride and adoration she felt toward me. Tired |
|||
from my journey, I wanted to collapse, but the light in her |
|||
eyes suffused me with a renewed strength. |
|||
By now the news of my return had spread throughout the |
|||
settlement, and a small crowd was forming. From within that |
|||
swirling mass of bodies emerged the High Priest, Adinax. He |
|||
came to stand before me, and quietly asked, "You have completed |
|||
the task?" |
|||
As I opened my mouth to answer, another spoke for me. |
|||
"No, he has not, your Reverence." |
|||
Several gasps were heard from the crowd, and all eyes |
|||
within the Hub turned to look upon the speaker, including mine. |
|||
"Why is it I have asked a question of Cemsiat, and it is |
|||
you who answers, Tagol?" asked the High Priest. |
|||
"I would have you know the truth, your Reverence," Tagol |
|||
answered. |
|||
Quietly I listened to their conversation, too surprised to |
|||
speak a word of my own in protest. What I heard being said |
|||
amazed me, and I stood there dumbstruck. Tagol was accusing |
|||
me of stealing his kill, and claiming it for my own. I had |
|||
always thought Tagol a disreputable sort, but hardly thought |
|||
him capable of the blatant lie he now told. So absorbed did I |
|||
become in thought over their exchange that I failed to notice |
|||
the High Priest was now addressing me. |
|||
"Cemsiat, what say you to these charges?" |
|||
Finally, after a few awkward moments I found my tongue. |
|||
"Part of what he claims is true," I stated. |
|||
Casting a withering glance to where Tagol crouched nearby, |
|||
I began to tell the High Priest my account of the events during |
|||
the day. I told everything I could recall, including how many |
|||
times I took to relieve myself during the hunt. All the while |
|||
I continued to bear the burden of the bundle slung upon my |
|||
shoulders. What little strength Siralor had given me had |
|||
quickly fled during the whole of this ordeal, and I could feel |
|||
my knees beginning to give way beneath the weight. Just when |
|||
I thought I could bear it no more, the High Priest spoke. |
|||
However, it was not to me. |
|||
"Tagol, it is well known you harbor some jealousy toward |
|||
Cemsiat. Long have we Elders watched the two of you engage in |
|||
a competition of sorts, trying to prove which of you is the |
|||
better hunter. It was hoped that you both would grow out of |
|||
such behavior, and while one of you has, the other continues |
|||
the game alone. You have brought up serious charges here, |
|||
especially considering the nature of the task Cemsiat was |
|||
given. However, one need only look at Cemsiat to see it was |
|||
he who made the kill -- the blood of it still stains his fur, |
|||
and even now his body aches from exhaustion. Your charges have |
|||
been heard, and now are dismissed." |
|||
The low, guttural snarl that escaped Tagol's throat sur- |
|||
prised not only myself but also all those gathered. The High |
|||
Priest showed no signs of such though. He simply pointed |
|||
toward the gate, and oddly enough, Tagol complied. I was able |
|||
to watch him start to go before the last of my strength was |
|||
spent; I heard Siralor call out my name as I collapsed into |
|||
darkness. |
|||
It was late in the afternoon when I awoke from my sleep, |
|||
my body still a bit sore from the efforts of the day before. |
|||
Siralor was nowhere to be found, but then that was as it should |
|||
be. Life-mates were not to see each other until the time of |
|||
the joining. Tonight would be perfect, as there was nothing |
|||
left to keep us apart, unless the bundle I had brought was not |
|||
sufficient enough. There was only one person I could ask to |
|||
be sure, the High Priest. |
|||
"Why would you think this not sufficient, Cemsiat?" he |
|||
asked as I stood before him. |
|||
"It is not so much I think that it is not, Reverent One, |
|||
but surely you understand my need to be sure?" I responded. |
|||
He simply smiled at me, and nodded. |
|||
"The beast you brought is more than sufficient to feed the |
|||
rest of the Pride, my boy. You have surely outdone yourself. |
|||
We shall have to find a use for all the extra meat though, for |
|||
we cannot let it go to waste. Tenemlor would not be pleased if |
|||
we did that." |
|||
I nodded, understanding the wisdom and lesson behind his |
|||
words. We hunt, we kill, but we do not do so in excess. |
|||
"Go now, young Cemsiat. You have a ceremony to prepare |
|||
for, and I do not think Siralor would appreciate you collapsing |
|||
again this eve. At least, not until afterwards." |
|||
At that, we both laughed, and I left to make final prepa- |
|||
rations for the night's festivities. |
|||
****** |
|||
The bonfire blazed before me, towering toward the starlit |
|||
sky above. One is easily mesmerized by the dance of color |
|||
that plays within it, and the rhythmic crackling sound of the |
|||
wood as it burns. I can say without a doubt that it instilled |
|||
within me a feeling not unlike what comes over one when they |
|||
are on the hunt. It is indescribable at best, and mere words |
|||
will hardly do it justice. Nothing in life up to that point |
|||
could have prepared me for her arrival, so beautiful was she, |
|||
silhouetted by the inferno raging nearby. I swear to you that |
|||
my heart skipped a beat. |
|||
We took our places before the High Priest, and thus began |
|||
the ceremony that would make us life-mates. However, someone |
|||
had other plans. |
|||
"As a servant of Demrris, I will not allow this union to |
|||
take place," was heard from the darkness. Siralor and I both |
|||
turned to face the one who would challenge our being together. |
|||
It was none other than Tagol, crouched in a battle stance with |
|||
a barbed spear held at the ready. |
|||
It was Siralor who spoke before anyone else. |
|||
"You have no right to prevent this, Tagol. You sought me, |
|||
and I refused. You have reached a new level with this stunt, |
|||
one in a long line of such. Leave now, and none will think you |
|||
a coward for doing so." |
|||
Her words surprised me, for I had not known that Tagol had |
|||
courted her as I had. Tagol must have seen the look on my face |
|||
and thought that a good moment to strike. I would have never |
|||
dodged his attack, but there was no need to. Siralor had seen |
|||
it coming, and in one quick step had placed herself in the path |
|||
of the spear. Her body crumpled to the ground at my feet with |
|||
nary a sound to betray the pain she must have felt. |
|||
The crowd erupted in a stunned horror, their gasps and |
|||
mutters rising into the night. I knelt and grasped her motion- |
|||
less body to mine, and took one long, last look at her as I |
|||
growled out these words: |
|||
"I suggest you run now, Tagol. Best that you enjoy the |
|||
last few moments you have before I catch you and rend the life |
|||
from your body." |
|||
At my words, everything and everyone within the hub had |
|||
fallen into a deathly silence, save for the sound of Tagol's |
|||
footsteps retreating quickly into the darkness. The bloody |
|||
spear lay on the ground nearby, and I snatched it up as I |
|||
started to follow him out the gate. |
|||
"Cemsiat, do not do this!" I heard Adinax exclaim. But |
|||
my mind was entirely elsewhere, and there was nothing anyone |
|||
could have done or said to stop me. |
|||
****** |
|||
It was hardly a challenge tracking Tagol through the |
|||
brush. Even a yearling hunter could have followed the trail |
|||
he was leaving in his wake. I imagine the only thing on his |
|||
mind was a quick flight away from the hub, so he carelessly |
|||
gave me all I needed to follow right behind him. |
|||
I caught up to him just this side of briar-cliff, in the |
|||
small clearing that overlooks the savannah below. There was |
|||
little need to see the expression on his face; I could smell |
|||
the miasma of fear wafting from him. The scent was repulsive |
|||
to me. At the time, I recall hoping that he could smell the |
|||
anger and hatred that was chasing him. I wanted him to suffer |
|||
for what he had done. |
|||
"Run all you like, Tagol, for I will find you," I growled. |
|||
"You cannot kill me, Cemsiat, it is forbidden!" he said |
|||
anxiously. |
|||
Obviously he had already forgotten what had taken place |
|||
back at the hub, where Siralor lie dead by his hand. |
|||
"Forbidden or not, you die tonight, and for what you |
|||
have done, I doubt the Triquetra will even take notice." |
|||
In that instant, I struck with a fury that no hunter has |
|||
ever unleashed on his prey. Tagol was dead after the first |
|||
thrust, but that did nothing to deter my hand from thrusting |
|||
the spear into his flesh, time and time again. Stained from |
|||
head to foot with his blood, and almost to the point of col- |
|||
lapsing from exhaustion, I finally slowed my actions. With |
|||
one last quick downward swing, I separated his head from what |
|||
was left of his mutilated body. Then...I sat down to feast. |
|||
I awoke at the dawning of the new day, and to a stench |
|||
more foul than any I have ever encountered. Carrion birds |
|||
circled high overhead, apparently aware I still lived, but |
|||
expecting me to perish any minute. Considering all the blood |
|||
that stained the grass of the clearing, it is a wonder they |
|||
had not already begun their work. It was then that the horror |
|||
of what I had done hit me full force. |
|||
I began to weep. I wept for Siralor, who had given her- |
|||
self to the Wheel so that I may live on. And I wept for Tagol, |
|||
who had gone to the Wheel at my hand, an act that is forbidden. |
|||
It was sometime while I wept that the other hunters found me. |
|||
****** |
|||
Night was approaching when we reached Amberglen. I went |
|||
willingly, aware of my crime, and wanting to face the punish- |
|||
ment for it. The other Prydaen all wore looks of bewilderment |
|||
that quickly turned to expressions of horror as they noticed |
|||
that my once-golden fur was now stained crimson. I was paraded |
|||
around the settlement, so that all might know what I had done. |
|||
I had expected this, but I had not expected the bonfire to no |
|||
longer be raging. Where once flames of yellow and orange |
|||
towered toward the sky, a pile of ashes remained. |
|||
It was into that pile of ashes that I was thrown. |
|||
Out of the crowd, High Priest Adinax emerged and |
|||
approached where I lay, my fur now colored a sooty grey. I |
|||
prepared myself for the worst, but I was not prepared for |
|||
the words he actually spoke. |
|||
"I have good news for you, Cemsiat," he stated quietly. |
|||
It was my turn to look bewildered. Good news? How could |
|||
there be good news regarding the events of last night? Surely |
|||
they had informed him of the condition they found me in? |
|||
"You are mistaken, Reverent One, there can be no good news |
|||
for me," I said. |
|||
"How wrong you are Cemsiat, for Siralor lives still. Had |
|||
you remained but a few moments more here last night, instead of |
|||
giving chase to Tagol, you would have been aware of such." |
|||
"She lives?" I asked. |
|||
He nodded. "Her condition is not stable, but she has not |
|||
yet journeyed to the Wheel. Nor do the healers expect she will |
|||
do so." |
|||
I began to weep. |
|||
"I thought you should know this before you are dealt with, |
|||
so that you could carry some measure of hope with you," he said. |
|||
Looking up at him through tear-streaked eyes, I barely |
|||
registered his words. She lives, he had said so. I could |
|||
endure any hardship so long as she still lived. |
|||
It was at this point we all heard the voice of Demrris |
|||
speak into our hearts and minds, though it was directed |
|||
entirely at my own actions. |
|||
"Slayer of kin, you are no longer Mine. To hunt is a gift |
|||
I gave to My children, to feed themselves on the meat of lesser |
|||
things. You have turned from this, and used claw against kin. |
|||
No longer are you one of the Pride, and you shall walk alone |
|||
and know no companionship with your fellow Prydaen. Your name |
|||
shall bear the mark of this shame for all eternity. Be gone |
|||
from here, Cemsiat. Perhaps in time Tenemlor will allow your |
|||
spirit to enter Her country to rejoin the Pride, but not in |
|||
this lifetime." |
|||
With this said, His voice was gone from our hearing, but |
|||
His words carried their effect. An agonizing pain pulled me |
|||
back into focus from the contemplation of His words, and I |
|||
gave the High Priest a questioning look even as I lapsed into |
|||
unconsciousness. |
|||
****** |
|||
The sound of running water woke me from what had seemed a |
|||
deeper sleep than ever I had taken before. Surely as a skilled |
|||
hunter I would never have slept so deeply, nor in so open a |
|||
place. I had dreamt the strangest dream, too. Odd -- I must |
|||
have been exhausted from trying to track my prey the previous |
|||
day. |
|||
My prey! |
|||
Damn, it was morning! Siralor will not be pleased that I |
|||
failed to return last eve. She will be disturbed when I tell |
|||
her of my dream as well. I tried to flick my tail in annoyance |
|||
at the whole affair. |
|||
My tail? |
|||
It was then I realized that it had not been a dream at |
|||
all. Everything had happened. I fell to my knees and cried |
|||
anew. In the short span of two days I had gained everything I |
|||
had ever wanted, and then lost it all. |
|||
"I see you are awake," spoke a familiar voice. |
|||
"What have you done to me?" I asked. |
|||
"We have done what the Gods demanded we do to you, Cem- |
|||
siat," he said flatly, with little emotion. "The night you |
|||
followed Tagol into the brush, we knew the outcome before it |
|||
even occurred. I doubt you remember killing those two hunters |
|||
I ordered to stop you either, do you?" |
|||
I shook my head. I was not aware I had done such. |
|||
"Once you had killed them, which is forbidden, the bon- |
|||
fire snuffed itself, and the ashes were immediately cool to |
|||
the touch. However, it was not until you killed Tagol that a |
|||
discordant mingling of voices, those of the Triquetra, spoke |
|||
to the whole of us in the hub. They instructed that once you |
|||
had returned I was to remove your tail, for it is the symbol |
|||
to our people of a kin slayer." |
|||
He paused for a short time, letting that sink in. |
|||
"I have sent runners to all the other hubs, informing |
|||
them of what you have done. Do not expect to find sanctuary |
|||
among them. You have committed the most serious of crimes |
|||
kin can commit. Therefore, you have received the severest |
|||
of punishments." |
|||
Again, he paused. Perhaps he expected me to say some- |
|||
thing in my defense, but knowing what I had done, what could |
|||
I have said? |
|||
"That river you hear nearby marks the boundary, and so |
|||
once you cross it, do not come back. I should also tell you |
|||
that Amberglen Hub no longer exists, we have been instructed |
|||
to move on. All that you knew, all that you were, are gone." |
|||
With that, he turned and walked into the trees. I turned |
|||
as well, and began looking for a way across the river. I did |
|||
not look back; I was too afraid to do so. |
|||
[[Category:Book]] |
Latest revision as of 13:22, 10 December 2007
Redirect to: