View source for Allye/Plays/The Little Lobster

 {{Log
  |date=2021-09-30
  |gamedate=439-06-29
  |eventname=TART Presents "The Little Lobster"
  |event_instance=DR
  |pov=
  |log=
[Yulugri Wala, Stage]
A row of lights illuminates the boards and those who take their place upon them.  Dark curtains block sight of the wings.
Obvious exits: none.

Saslisena came through a curtain.

(Saslisena walks onto the stage with a brilliant smile, waving to everyone!)

Saslisena exclaims, "Hello and welcome to to the Arthe Dale Theater everyone!"

Saslisena cocks her head.

Saslisena says, "Tonight you get a little glimpse at the chaos inspired by actors auditioning for a play and how it turns into a story."

Saslisena appears to be trying hard not to grin.

Saslisena shifts her weight.

Saslisena says, "I'm not claiming responsiblity for any of it."

Saslisena nods.

Saslisena exclaims, "So please enjoy, 'The Little Lobster'!"

(Saslisena steps off into the wings with a final wave.)

You hear a voice recite from the shadows:
    "The curtains close with a smooth swishing noise, and the lights are extinguished one by one until the theater is dark.  A lone spotlight flares to life, illuminating a corner of the stage.  The screech of wood scraping against wood suddenly echoes through the vast space."

(Iryta, as The Storyteller, edges slowly into the spotlight and drags a tall stool behind them, the apparent source of all the racket.)

(Iryta centers their stool within the spotlight and nimbly climbs atop it, settling the folds of their whimsical star-spangled robe about their body with prim precision.)

Iryta clears her throat.

Iryta beckons everyone to gather around.

Iryta loudly says, "Okay, listen up, children."

(Iryta peers into the dark seating area through the thick lenses of their spectacles, clucking quietly to themselves.)

Iryta says, "The rest of you, too, I suppose.  It's time for a tale of courage and crustaceans, of friendship and foes, and of all the sweetness you could possibly desire."

Iryta smiles a thin smile.  Digging through the folds of their robe, the storyteller brandishes a heavy tome.  They open the cover, cradling the book on their lap, and flip through some of the pages.

Iryta says, "Ah!  Here we are."

Iryta formally says, "Once upon a time, there was a sad prince.  The sad prince was very sad, indeed."

You hear a voice recite from the shadows:
    "The spotlight gradually fades away over the Storyteller as the curtain sweeps open.  The orchestra situated in the pit before the stage begins a gentle refrain as a vivid seafaring scene is revealed: blue wooden props slide back and forth across the floor to simulate waves, and a large boat rests at the center with a pair of figures upon its bow."

(Useff, as the Prince, crouches beside the railing and gazes out into the distance blankly.  He gives a pitiful sniffle.)

(Elurora, as the Prince's Bodyguard, stands a few paces behind her charge.  She watches the scene dispassionately.)

(Useff shifts his stance and stares down at his empty hands.  A lone clarinet croons a doleful melody over the rest of the orchestra.)

(Useff reaches into his pocket and fishes out a small round peppermint.  Unfortunately, the confection slips out of his grasp as he begins to lift it to his mouth, tumbling instead to the tumultuous sea below.)

Useff sighs deeply, looking very depressed.

You hear a voice recite from the shadows:
    "The floorboards creak wearily as stagehands pull the boat off into the wings and out of sight, taking the two figures with it.  The stage is still but for the sliding wave props for a moment.  Suddenly, the waves rise in tandem, lifting higher and higher into the air until they nearly brush the ceiling.  Shimmering swathes of blue gossamer hang beneath the props at the back of the stage, and the set now appears reminiscent of an underwater scene."

(Iryta appears in the spotlight at the corner once more, smiling as the transformation of the stage behind them is complete.)

Iryta ominously says, "Little did the prince know that that tiny lost peppermint would alter the course of so many lives, including his own."

(Iryta tuts quietly as the spotlight fades again.)

(Almarius, as the Lobster, dashes out onto the stage and clambers across the area excitedly.)

Almarius asks, "... An entire mouse, I'm telling you!  They said he won the Merelew Joust on his little seahorse steed.  Can you believe that?"

(Almarius giggles to herself, the sound of it full of chittering and merriment.)

(Claribel, as the Mermaid, glides from the wings at a more sedate pace.  She eyes her friend warily.)

Claribel asks, "Well no, I can't believe that.  How would a mouse breathe underwater?"

(Almarius waves her claw dismissively.)

Almarius asks, "How does anyone breathe underwater, really?"

Claribel furrows her brow.

Claribel matter-of-factly says, "Gills, usually.  You ought to know this."

(Almarius is very clearly not paying attention anymore, her focus diverted by a small item that dangles and drifts above her, held aloft by some unseen string.)

Claribel thoughtfully says, "I suppose some just hold their breath for a long time."  She taps her lips with a finger as she ponders this.  "But mice can't do that, I don't think."

(Almarius scuttles to and fro, her eyes set upon the round item as it drops closer down.)

Claribel glances at Almarius.

Claribel says, "What are you...?  Oh wait, that's a-."

(Almarius chomps down on the peppermint as it approaches, without waiting for her friend to finish her sentence.)

(Almarius munches away happily for a moment, swaying back and forth.)

(Almarius's eyes widen!  She freezes in place.  She blinks once, then twice.)

Almarius spins around!

Almarius spins around!

Almarius quickly exclaims, "Wowwee! What was that?!"

(Almarius skitters around her friend in rapid circles, whooping and cheering.)

Claribel looks with concern at Almarius.

Claribel says, "I've seen people on the surface eating those sometimes.  It's called candy."

Claribel slowly asks, "Um, are you okay?"

(Almarius is sticking her tongue out where the peppermint once was, apparently trying to get another taste.)

Almarius exclaims, "I'm better than okay!  That was the best thing I've ever tasted!"

(Almarius rushes to the front and center of the stage as the music swells to a triumphant peak.)

Almarius inhales a great swallow of air.

Almarius sings in a sopranino voice:

    "Food down here is so sandy and bland,
     It seems that the good stuff's all up on land!
     Oh, wouldn't it be great? Wouldn't it be grand
     To have some more candy?!"

A pained expression crosses Claribel's face.

Claribel quietly says, "Oh, it's a musical."

(Iryta can be seen in the dimly lit corner of the stage, shrugging.)

(Almarius continues apace, completely oblivious to the others.)

Almarius sings in a sopranino voice:

    "Don't want no more krill or sticky seaweed,
     Oh boy, oh no, they're not what I need!
     I'm begging and crying, I'm down on my knees,
     Please just a taste of that-"

Almarius ponders.

Almarius quietly asks Claribel, "What was it called again?"

Claribel sighs.

Claribel dully says, "Candy."

Almarius's face lights up with joy.

Almarius sings in a sopranino voice:

    "Yeah!  Candy!  It's candy,
     The greatest treat there'll ever be.
     Candy! It's candy!
     A piece for me, and a piece for y- Er, me!"

Claribel blinks at Almarius, shaking her head in exasperation before resting her face in the palm of her hand.  Ouch.

(Almarius throws her arms out wide victoriously as the song ends in a dramatic crescendo.  A quiet bassoon line carries on as the rest of the instruments fall away.)

Almarius urgently says, "I just have to figure out how to get up there and get some more."

(Almarius begins to rush off stage, her lobster feet clacking hurriedly over the floorboards.)

(Claribel steps in front of her friend and holds her arms straight out, stopping her.)

Claribel worriedly exclaims, "Wait!"

(Claribel bends forward over her tail to crouch down enough to see eye to eye with the Lobster.  Some horns and an oboe join the bassoon in the orchestra, and a darker melody drifts across the theater.)

Claribel sings in a mezzo-soprano voice:

    "Wait, my friend, just stop and ponder.
     Life on land isn't all sweets and wonder.
     Especially for a dear, vulnerable lobster,
     Please don't do it, don't go!"

Almarius begins pouting.

Claribel thoughtfully sings in a mezzo-soprano voice:

    "Thought alone makes me shudder,
     They'd steam you, then eat you with butter!
     So please don't even once more utter
     That you want to go up there."

(Claribel gazes pleadingly at her friend.)

Claribel nervously says, "Besides, there's usually a sea witch or something else involved in stories where undersea creatures go through a magical transformation to live on land, and that's always bad news."

(Iryta nods knowingly, in their corner off to the side.)

Almarius confidently exclaims, "I'll just skip all of that then!"

Almarius catches Claribel up in a fierce embrace, swinging her around exuberantly.

(Claribel winces slightly as the Lobster's many legs dig into her sides, but she still leans into the hug.)

Almarius says, "I don't have to change.  I just want candy."

(Almarius rubs her claws together, plotting.)

Claribel sighs softly.

Claribel resignedly says, "At least let me help with your disguise.  I think I have some gloves that might fit you."

You hear a voice recite from the shadows:
    "The pair wander off into the wings together, and the curtains slide closed.  The orchestra continues to play as shuffling noises echo from the stage."

Iryta smiles as the spotlight illuminates their corner once again.

Iryta says, "The little lobster had big plans for her future, brimming with excitement and, most importantly, sugar."

Iryta says, "But meanwhile, in a small castle by the sea, the sad prince was lamenting a future of his own."

Iryta bows her head in acknowledgement.

You hear a voice recite from the shadows:
    "The storyteller's spotlight fades once more.  The curtains swing open to reveal a lavish throne room setting.  Gold ornaments adorn the walls and every piece of furniture, and a plush red carpet unfurls across the center of the stage.  It ends at the foot of a royal throne, the grandiose seat glittering in the bright stage lights."

(Useff sits upon his throne, dwarfed by the towering design of the elaborate chair.)

(Useff hunches forward miserably, heaving a sigh.)

(Elurora shifts minutely in her place, standing to one side of the throne.  Her plate armor rattles mutedly as she moves.)

(Useff leans forward, nearly folding in upon himself.  The orchestra strikes up a melancholy ballad as he softly begins to sing.)

Useff sings in a baritone voice:

    "Life's just too quiet, life's just too boring,
     In a small seaside town, everyone's snoring,
     If only there was someone worth adoring
     In the whole entire world."

(Useff seems moved, a spark of anger lit by the injustice of it all.  He leaps to his feet as the music swells.)

Elurora glances at Useff.

Useff sings in a baritone voice:

    "I've met every princess and prince all around,
     And none of them quite fit to share in my crown,
     It seems that perhaps I just may be bound
     To be evermore alone."

(Useff drops his head into his hands, a single sob echoing through the vast room before he continues.)

Useff dramatically exclaims, "Oh, is there nothing more to this wretched, lonely world?!"

(Elurora stands stoic and motionless in her spot beside the throne, but her eyes follow the Prince as he throws himself dramatically across the room and into another verse of his song.)

Useff sings in a baritone voice:

    "All day, every day, I sit and I sigh,
     I beg and I pray, I plead and I cry,
     Alone in my castle, as day fades to night,
     The darkness consumes my soul."

(Useff whispers to himself, "My very soul."  He closes his eyes, sniffling, as the music fades.)

Elurora clears her throat.

(Useff's eyes fly open.  He whips around to face his bodyguard, throwing his hands in the air in annoyance.)

Useff exclaims, "Gosh!  Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?!"

Useff sighs dramatically.

Useff says, "Oh, I'm so very vexed."

Elurora makes a grunting noise.

Elurora gruffly says, "Perhaps it would do you some good to get outside into the kingdom, my liege.  You could better understand the day to day needs of your people."

(Useff stares blankly at the bodyguard.)

Elurora says, "Er, you could take in some fresh air."

Useff frowns miserably, looking very put out.

Useff says, "Well, I suppose some fresh air couldn't hurt."  He glances at the window and winces at the sunlight pouring into the room.  "In theory, at least."

You hear a voice recite from the shadows:
    "The pair begin to walk into the wings, and the curtain closes over the scene.  The sound of the stagehands busily at work preparing for the next scene can be heard as the spotlight in the corner comes up once more."

(Iryta turns a page of their book, looking up and out into the audience.)

Iryta says, "And so it was that the little lobster and the sad prince both came to wander through the village at the same moment, in their respective and very convincing disguises."

Iryta grins wryly.

You hear a voice recite from the shadows:
   "The curtains slide open quickly, and a bustling village scene comes into view.  The edge of the stage along one side is covered in the shifting blue wooden wave props, depicting water lapping at the sea shore.  A small snack stand rests atop the sand, and a crowd of people move about the area."

(Almarius shuffles across the waves and onto the sandy shore, bedecked in an outrageous ensemble.  A sopping wet gown of pale pink silk clings from her lobster body.  A pair of long pink gloves ensheath her arms, stretched nearly to bursting over her wide claws.)

(Almarius makes a quick adjustment to her curly purple wig, but it remains hopelessly lopsided.  She nods to herself, clearly satisfied, and glances back towards the water's edge.)

(Claribel peeks out nervously from between the undulating waves, her gaze anxiously flitting between her friend and the throngs of people moving through the village.)

(Claribel points discreetly to the snack stand.)

Claribel quietly says, "There should be some candy there.  You can ask for the peppermint, or maybe a lollipop."

(Almarius beams cheerfully and bounds towards the stand, whooping with joy.)

Claribel winces.

Claribel intently says, "But please..."  Her voice drops to a whisper that her excited friend surely can't hear.  "Please, be careful."

(Claribel dips a little further beneath the waves for cover, but stays where she is, fretting and monitoring the scene.)

(Almarius approaches the stand, oblivious to the odd looks she receives from the people nearby.  Fortunately, the shopkeeper is occupied with another customer and seems not to notice her.)

(Almarius strains to see what's on the countertop, stretching up onto the tips of her lobster feet.)

(Useff trudges into the area.  He doesn't wear his crown, but seems otherwise undisguised.)

(Useff is focused on the ground, kicking a shell across the sand, unaware as people scatter to allow him to pass.)

(Elurora follows her charge from a short distance.  She wears a cloak over her armor, but the villagers seem just as aware of her presence as the prince's.  She gives a passing vendor a polite nod.)

(Almarius spies a jar full of peppermints on the stand!)

Almarius gets an impish expression on her face, and lets out a hearty cheer.

(Almarius leans against the side of the structure, reaching up to grab handfuls of peppermints from the jar.  She shoves them into the pockets of her gown.  As she hurries to take as much as she can, a single peppermint slips from her grasp, tumbling to the ground and rolling to a stop at the prince's feet.)

(Useff looks at the small piece of candy and then looks up to determine its source.)

Useff glances at Almarius.

Useff's jaw drops.

(Almarius grunts and huffs desperately, struggling to reach to the bottom of the now nearly empty jar.)

Useff ardently exclaims, "What an exquisite sight!"

Elurora glances at Useff.

Elurora glances at Almarius.

Useff exclaims, "I've never seen such a beautiful creature!"

Useff gazes at Almarius in wonder.

Useff firmly says, "I must marry her, and no one else."

A pained expression crosses Elurora's face.

(Almarius slips and nearly falls, completely oblivious to the prince's musings behind her.  The jar topples to the ground, spilling the remaining peppermints across the sand.)

Almarius lets out a loud "Huzzah!"

(Almarius quickly gathers up as many candies as she can, her pockets now bulging precariously.)

(Useff strides forward, unceremoniously grabbing the lobster's gloved claw.)

(Claribel gasps from her hiding place.)

(Almarius whirls around to face the prince, frowning.)

Useff admiringly exclaims, "My goodness, what a firm handshake!"

Almarius squints at Useff.

Useff says to himself, "Has she drawn blood, even?  Gosh, what a woman."

Elurora raises an eyebrow.

(Almarius hurriedly disentangles herself from the amorous prince, backing away toward the ocean's edge.)

Almarius quickly exclaims, "Er, excuse me!  I gotta get going!"

(Almarius skitters away, making a beeline for her mermaid friend who is cowering in the water.)

(Useff cries out, rushing after her.)

Useff exclaims, "Wait!  Wait, I must know your name!  I must know where you live, and your favorite flower, and your ring size!"

(Almarius doesn't even look back.)

Almarius exclaims, "Nope!  Nope, no time for any of that!  Okay, bye!"

(Almarius approaches the water's edge, prepared to dive in.)

(Useff runs after his escaping dream girl/lobster, as peppermints spill from her pockets onto the sand to create a trail behind her.)

Useff beams!

Useff exclaims, "Oh!  At least have a meal with me!  I know a place with really great... candy!"

(Almarius comes to an abrupt, skidding halt.)

(Almarius spins around to face the prince again.  The water laps at her lobster feet, soaking the bottom hem of her gown.)

Almarius slowly asks, "What kind of candy?"

Claribel gawks at Almarius.

Claribel frantically exclaims to Almarius, "Are you on a sugar high or something?!"  Her voice is a hissing whisper, barely loud enough to be heard over the rushing sound of the waves.  "Just come back into the water, and don't do anything crazy!"

(Almarius keeps her eyes on the prince, whispering out of the side of her mouth to her friend.)

Almarius quietly exclaims to Claribel, "Don't worry, it'll be okay!"

(Claribel stares at the lobster, aghast.)

Elurora squints at Claribel.

(Claribel squeaks fearfully and dives beneath the water as the bodyguard's gaze falls upon her.)

(Useff performs a flourishing bow, pressing a kiss to the gloved claw of the lobster.)

Useff worshipfully says to Almarius, "Any kind of candy your heart desires will be yours, my gleaming star, be it gumdrops and fairy floss or peppermints and spun sugar flowers."

Almarius beams at Useff!

Almarius excitedly exclaims, "What's fairy floss?  That sounds like fun!"

(Almarius scuttles along beside the prince as he leads her off the stage.)

(Elurora glances up and down at the lobster appraisingly as the pair retreat.  The decorated guardswoman sighs.)

Elurora shakes her head.

(Elurora slogs after the prince and the lobster, clearly resigned to her ridiculous fate.)

You hear a voice recite from the shadows:
    "The curtains close on the scene, and the orchestra plays a short, romantic interlude.  As the music ends, the spotlight illuminates the storyteller."

(Iryta peers over their spectacles into the dark seating area.)

Iryta wryly says, "Now, I have been telling stories for many years.  I've told tales of tragedy and cloyingly happy romances, inspiring sagas and even legends of horror."

Iryta says, "But none, I assure you, are quite so strange as the tale of a lobster and her smitten prince on a dinner date."

Iryta smiles a wan smile and gives a little shrug.

Iryta says, "Still, here we are.  The lobster and the prince found themselves seated at a pleasant waterfront eatery, one enjoying the company as the other enjoyed the dessert cart."

You hear a voice recite from the shadows:
    "The orchestra strikes up a flourishing melody as the curtain swings open upon a charming restaurant scene.  Round tables stand in formation before a chic building, its promenade overlooking a seaside waterfront.  At the center table sit a trio of figures."

(Almarius hums excitedly, watching as various carts bearing all manner of sweet confections roll between the tables.)

Useff gazes fondly at Almarius.

(Useff sits at the opposite side of the table from the object of his unabashed affection.  He can't seem to keep his eyes off of her.)

Useff quietly says to himself, "So... beautiful."

(Elurora sits between the lobster and the prince, appearing decidedly awkward in her unexpected chaperone role.)

Elurora smiles politely to the neatly dressed waiter, still, as he rambles off a list of specials.

(Claribel hides in the water by the promenade, her eyes wide with alarm as she attempts to watch her friend.)

(Almarius seems not to even notice as the music stops when the waiter reads the final special, "skewered lobster drizzled in a delicate butter cream sauce.")

(Elurora glances sharply at the waiter, whose voice trails off as he finally takes a closer look at his purple-wigged patron.)

Useff waves his hand distractedly.

Useff indifferently says, "Ah, I'm a vegetarian."  An audible sigh of relief can be heard coming from the mermaid.  "We're here for dessert, anyway."

(Useff doesn't even look up, his eyes still trained on the newfound love of his life.  The music resumes, and the waiter scurries off.)

(Almarius's gaze alights upon a particularly large cream puff.  She points at it, and then a dozen other sweet treats.  The waitstaff dutifully begin to pile items upon her plate.)

(Useff cradles his chin in the palm of his hand, gazing at the lobster with unwavering affection.)

Useff sings in a baritone voice:

    "How is this, how can it be?
     Before you, the world was so bleak.
     And now each moment feels so sweet
     With you."

(Almarius stares at her plate, towering high with every manner of sugary delicacy.)

Almarius sings in a sopranino voice:

    "How is this, how's it so fine?
     Before you, the world was just brine.
     And now each moment tastes so divine
     With you."

(Almarius fits an entire cream puff into her mouth, chomping away happily.)

Claribel frowns worriedly, staring at her friend with concern.

Claribel sings in a mezzo-soprano voice:

    "How is this, carrying on for so long?
     Before now, villains appear in story and song,
     Surely something's about to go wrong,
     For you."

(Useff reaches forward, gripping the lobster's gloved claws from across the table.  His bodyguard sits clumsily between them, still, and by all appearances wishes she was absolutely anywhere else.)

Useff sings in a baritone voice:

    "How is this, how can I show?
     Before you, I just didn't know
     That my life could just be set so aglow,
     Awash in the light of you."

Useff sings in a baritone voice:

    "How beautiful our life together will be,
     The world will delight to see you with me."

Useff's face lights up with joy for Almarius.

(Almarius doesn't look up from her plate.  She pulls one of her claws from the prince's grasp and grabs a cone of glittery pink fairy floss, crooning directly to it.)

Almarius sings in a sopranino voice:

    "How beautiful our life together will be,
     Not chewing on coral at the bottom of the sea."

Elurora glances at Almarius.

Claribel gasps!

(Almarius wedges the entire cone of delicate spun sugar into her maw, shrieking with delight as it melts upon her tongue.  The music fades as the song comes to an end.)

(Useff dreamily continues humming the song's refrain before suddenly the spell seems to break and he blinks at the lobster.)

Useff hesitantly says, "Er, my love.  My darling, my sweet, my brilliant beloved bunnykins."

Useff looks with concern at Almarius.

Useff asks, "What do you mean, chewing coral?"

(Almarius absentmindedly wipes some caramel sauce from around her mouth.)

Almarius blinks.

Almarius says, "Oh... oops."

Claribel sighs and drops her face into her hands in defeat.

(Almarius glances around and suddenly begins shoving desserts from her plate and a nearby cart into her pockets, preparing to run.)

Useff asks Almarius, "My love?"

(Almarius's glove suddenly splits in half, revealing the glistening red claw beneath it.)

Almarius nervously says, "Oops again."

(Elurora closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose, sighing.)

(Useff's gaze flutters despairingly between the lobster's face and her large, clacking claw.)

Useff desperately asks Almarius, "My love!  Are you... Are you a lobster?"

Almarius glances at Claribel.

Almarius awkwardly says, "Oh!  Um, well... yes.  At least half..."

Claribel gnaws on her lip.

Useff ponders thoughtfully for a moment, then shrugs.

Useff asks, "That explains a lot, I guess.  Anyway, when should we have the wedding?"

Almarius splutters.

Almarius says, "The wedding?  I don't want to marry you.  I just wanted some candy."

(Almarius points to her pockets.  A cream puff falls out of one side and careens to the floor with a loud -PLOP-.)

Useff incredulously exclaims, "What?!"

(Useff leaps to his feet, his chair clattering noisily behind him as it topples over.)

Useff exclaims, "How dare you reject me, when you're the only lobster I've ever loved?"  He glares at her in a frenzied rage, his chest heaving.  "That's it!  I'm going to war.  My kingdom will hereby fight the entire ocean because of this!"

Elurora makes a grunting noise.

Claribel gasps in terrified panic, trembling and flailing her arms about!

Claribel fearfully exclaims, "Oh no, it's happening!  He was the villain all along!"

(Almarius seems completely unbothered by the prince's declaration.  She scoops up the fallen cream puff and gives it a nibble.)

Useff frowns.

(Useff straightens up to his full height, staring at the lobster imperiously.)

Useff exclaims, "Also, from this day forward, I hereby decree in all my royalness: the making, selling, and eating of candy are all now expressly forbidden!"

Almarius gasps in terrified panic, trembling and flailing her arms about!

(Almarius leaps into the water at once, fearfully clinging to the Mermaid.)

Useff chuckles to himself.

Claribel asks, "Oh no, it's time for the evil laugh!  How did we not see it before?"

(Claribel buries her face in the lobster's wig, whimpering in dismay.)

(Useff's laugh grows louder and more cruel.  He tosses his head back in nefarious triumph.)

(Almarius shivers in fear, causing her claws to clatter noisily.)

Useff cackles deep in his throat, his voice rising in chilling laughter.

(Useff continues his vicious revelry.  The orchestra swings into gear as a monstrous tune shambles into motion.)

(Useff takes a deep breath, preparing to launch into song.)

(Elurora stands from her spot at the table, neatly steps forward, and gives the prince a little slap across his face.  The building music crashes to a halt.)

Useff's eyes bug out!

Useff painfully exclaims, "Hey!"

Useff grabs his head and moans softly.

Elurora says to Useff, "Sir.  With all due respect, there is no way that your villain origin story is having been rejected by a lobster."

Useff begins pouting.

Elurora firmly says, "My liege, you need some sense of purpose."  She rubs her chin, looking thoughtful.  "Or a hobby, at the very least."

Useff sighs deeply.

Useff soberly says, "I suppose you're right."

(Claribel beams happily as the lobster cheers to see the prince's turn to villainy cut short.)

(Claribel and her friend hug each other in elated relief.)

(Almarius chitters with joy, her claws clacking and playfully pinching the mermaid's hair.)

(Almarius leans back and reaches into her gown's pocket to pull out a peppermint.  She offers it to her friend with a grin.)

Claribel begins to giggle, then bursts out in a silly laugh.

Claribel smiles broadly and accepts the candy, popping it into her mouth.  They then dive into the water together, swimming home at last.

(Useff gazes after them, watching as the mermaid's fins make a final splash at the water's surface and the pair disappear.)

Useff thoughtfully says, "Maybe I'll take up knitting instead."

Elurora gazes off into the distance.

You hear a voice recite from the shadows:
    "The curtains close with a rapid swish. The orchestra plays the swelling overture one final time, before fading away to silence.  The spotlight reappears at the corner."

(Iryta slams their tome shut, the cover and pages coming together with a satisfying clap.)

Iryta says, "And they all lived, more or less, happily ever after."

Iryta smiles and gives a sharp nod, stepping off of their stool lightly.

Iryta says, "The prince learned to knit and took some anger management classes at the behest of his loyal bodyguard.  He was never the greatest ruler of their kingdom, but he at least didn't go to war with the entire ocean, so there's that."

Iryta says, "The bodyguard was very grateful to never again have to sit in on a date between a cheerfully gluttonous lobster and a spoiled prince."

Iryta says, "The mermaid, inspired by her jaunt with her friend, became famous for her lobster fashion line.  Designing gowns suitable for underwater and overland use, and of course extra-wide gloves to fit the clackiest of claws, her collections were at once versatile and bold!  Underwater boutiques and clients clambered for her work."

Iryta says, "And as for our dear little lobster?  She remained the most cheerful creature to ever scuttle wildly across the sea floor in a pique of sugar-fueled hyperactivity."

Iryta says, "Every so often, the peppermints jar of the snack stand on the nearby beach would be found, mysteriously empty.  And everyone knew, the lobster was happy."

Iryta sweeps a wizard-shaped storyteller hat with a sleeping dragon embroidered on the front off her head and in front of her in a large arc, fluidly stepping backward and bowing at the same time.

Iryta emphatically says, "The end."

You hear a voice recite from the shadows:
    "The spotlight blinks out, plunging the theater into darkness.  As the house lights slowly come up, the stage is revealed to be completely empty."
}}