Tweedee

Tweedee Deedum
Status	Active
Race	Gnome
Gender	Male
Guild	Barbarian
Instance	Prime
Relatives	Tweedum

You see Butcher Tweedee Deedum, Dragon Fighter of Elanthia, a Gnome Barbarian. Tweedee has a square-jawed face with several scars and gashes from past battles, some tyrium-framed safety goggles with thick glass lenses protecting his blazing black eyes and a broken nose. He is bald, with tanned skin and a barrel-chested build.

He is one who towers among others for a Gnome.

He appears to be patronly.

He has a wild and greasy beard, some square-cut ham chunks cut from talan pearls nestled among the untamed mane like small forgotten treasures.

His right wrist has a tattoo of a wild hog going hog wild on a large pile of fatback bacon.

He is holding a battle-scarred hog mask with yellowed protruding tusks in his right hand.

He is wearing an oversized chunk of chakrel hung from a massive glaes chain, a gargantuan boar-hide pauldron with a hog skull impaled on vicious glaes spikes, a pulsating eddy of light restrained inside the maw of a mechanical glaes skull, a dark oiled canvas butcher's bag with stained bone beads forming letters, a matte black warrior's kimono embroidered with a juicy ham on the bone, a red and white striped round shield with a star centered in blue, some mechanized butcher's gauntlets with dented glaes warning plates, a chunky silversteel signet ring embossed with a raven in flight, a splattered leather butcher's apron with a huge glaes buckle, a heavy spiked fighter's belt with a giant glaes buckle stamped "Winner!", a spiritwood double sheath fitted with bejeweled goldenglow glaes mechanisms, a dark steel warhorn forged into a cawing raven clutching a glaes dragon and a pair of steel-toed stomping boots.

For the baddies...

The Hammy-est of HAMmers!

a massive haralun hammer forged into the shape of a ham

The masterful metalwork of the haralun head shows etched spiral skin and lifelike swirls in the meat. Across the head are small studs wrought into the shape of peppercorns. The handle has been painted and shaped into a bone sticking out from the meat. Affixed to the end of the haft, a counterweight forged into the shape of a bone knuckle bears the initials "P. D."

A massive haralun hammer reads: "HAMmer Time!"

The Butchery-est of Axes!

a butcher's sterak axe with a bejeweled cleaving blade edged in forgeheart iron.

The long rectangular blade has a single edge that is slightly curved, broad enough to cleave through meat or bone from large game and livestock. The reddish-orange chakrel dust visible across the bright iron like a billowing cloud of windswept embers reflects within the facets of a large Gemfire ruby, trailed by engravings that resemble cooking flames. Modified with a spiral of goldenglow glaes studs, a short dragonwood handle provides a secure grip in the kitchen or in battle.

For the cooking...

The Gristly-est of skillets!

a seasoned skillet with a ham hock handle that glistens with grease and gristle

The seasoned cast iron skillet is a deep, well-worn black, with a glossy, slightly sticky patina built up over consistent use. The surface gleams faintly, reflecting the remnants of cooking oils and fats that have absorbed into the metal. Small, crispy pieces of ham gristle are scattered across the bottom, some clinging stubbornly to the iron surface, while others are lodged in the ridges of the pan.

a golden waffle sandwich layered with savory ham and a drizzle of sweet glaze

Crisp, golden waffle halves are pressed into a grid of perfect squares, each corner kissed with a faint buttery sheen. Between them lies a generous layer of thinly shaved, honey-glazed ham, its edges slightly caramelized. A delicate drizzle of spiced maple syrup winds over the top waffle, pooling lightly in its indentations.

The Greasy-est of aprons!

a splattered leather butcher's apron with a huge glaes buckle

The long meat cutter's garment is made of dark leather and is splattered with a mix of dark and greasy stains on the front. Under the wide belt is a large pocket with a brand in the corner: a ham engulfed in flames. The glaes buckle is engraved with a unkindness of ravens feasting on a dragon.

The Spicy-est of wands!

a gnawed-upon wand carved from a boiled ham bone

The bone looks to be left over from a previous meal, the marks of gnawing creating a unique texture that tells a tale of curious exploration and hunger. Though partially chewed upon, mini ham-shaped carvings add a whimsical touch to the otherwise worn surface of the wand's handle.

A steamy raven-shaped slab of spicy ham

This hot-looking ham is a culinary masterpiece that marries bold flavors with artistic flair. The thick slice resembles a raven, and feathers are meticulously etched into the rich, spicy glaze. The ham's exterior, a canvas of deep reds and browns, hints at the fiery blend of spices that infuse every bite.

For the mighty-est of warriors...

The Curvy-est of swords!

a curved greatsword with a fire whirl ruby dragon along the bright glaes blade

The massive blade curves sharply, extending far behind the lengthy handle crisscrossed with dragonfire brocade cloth. The expertly crafted glaes metal exhibits a brilliant pure white shine, intensifying when light travels along the single edge. Inside the ruby dragon, a stylized pillar of swirling flame erupts against the gem's top face as if on the verge of bursting forth. A radiant goldenglow glaes circular guard portrays an image of an unkindness of ravens cawing at a paladin engulfed in flames. Subtle shades of blue and red mingle with a sickly green and writhing shadows in a perpetual dance around the curved greatsword.

The curved greatsword reads: "Fight fire with fire."

The Doubly-est of sheaths!

a spiritwood double sheath fitted with bejeweled goldenglow glaes mechanisms

The rectangular snow-white wooden casing has curved edges and is fitted with a glass housing showcasing cogs and gears carefully filed from goldenglow glaes. Catching your eye, a button set with a stormfire topaz seems to activate the mechanism. A long and wide swath of molten-core diamond icesilk trails from the sheath where it is wrapped around the middle to help secure it on a belt or in a sash.

A spiritwood double sheath reads: "Safety device disabled. Face towards enemy."

The Smelly-est of Kimonos!

a matte black warrior's kimono embroidered with a juicy ham on the bone

White silk lining provides a stark contrast against the mottled tones of black dyed into the long deathfiber garment. The deep-belled sleeves allow room for movement in tricky situations such as battle or preparing a hot meal. Masterfully stitched on the back is a giant ham in silvery brown threads, giving the appearance of juices running down the sides. White embroidery depicting steam drifting up from the meat spells out a phrase.

A warrior's kimono reads: "No vengeance on an empty stomach."