Squanto

Squanto
Status
Race	Kaldar
Gender	Male
Guild	Barbarian
Instance	Prime
Relatives	Tekumseh, Saquejewea, Hayowentha, Ahiga, Sequoyah, Thallie, Tisquantum, Eimos, Tooantuh, Tohaka, Zaxor, Tsun, Heucuva, Obyenoa

Description

You see War Monger Squanto Longstalk, Scourge of Elanthia, a Kaldaran Barbarian.
Squanto has crystal blue eyes. His platinum hair is shoulder length and thick, and is worn arranged in a mohawk. He has copper skin and a burly build.
He is a bit over average height for a Kaldar.

He is wearing a bright pink balaclava, a verdant enameled hairstick in the shape of an outstretched dragon, a barbarian's black eyepatch covered in vulture feathers to simulate a bird of prey, a barbarian's earring carved from kertig to resemble a tiny forge, a long pair of sunrise-pink diamond earrings, a platinum clenched fist pendant clutching a carved ivory sword, a somber chakrel headstone amulet hung from an oiled leather strand, a Barbarian Guild boutonniere displaying a Crimson Massacre carnation, a dried yellow slug, a petrified corpse grub, a tiny oval-shaped crystal embedded with a miniature ruby dragon, a ruby nose-stud carved to resemble a drop of blood, a silver keg-shaped badge stamped "Neck Snapper", a hex lily boutonniere inked with the word "Minion" on one flaring pink petal, a steel Soldier's badge, an Elanthics gold medal for Melee, some fuzzy pink pajamas with feet, a pastel pink velvet robe, a hammered silver epaulet chased with the crest of the Barbarian's Guild, a barbarian's wristlet made of cured kelpie leather and interlaced goblin bones, a blackened silver ru'at bracelet inset with blue-white diamonds, some steel hand claws tipped with sharpened golden katambite, a platinum ring set with the Barbarians' Guild crest, a gold ring bearing the crest of the Barbarian's Guild, a rugged leather weapons belt with a Barbarians' Guild crest buckle, a bright pink sling, a blood red linen hip pouch woven in black with dancing barbarians, some sleek snakeskin fighting pants with a wide leather waistband, some black socks studded with bone fragments forming a skull and crossbones, a pair of supple black leather boots embossed with fierce dragons and a TON of other stuff (good thing he is HUGE).

Things Every Adventurer Should Know About Squanto

- Squanto does not live in Elanthia, Elanthia lives around him.

- Clanthew Boulevard used to be called Squanto Boulevard, but it was changed because no one crosses Squanto and lives.

- The World Dragon isn’t sleeping, it is hiding from Squanto’s Dragon Dance.

- Squanto doesn't ride the gondola, Ilithi and Zoluren move closer together when he glares at them.

- Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Squanto stories.

- Squanto was once bitten by a giant thicket viper. After three days of agonizing pain... the viper died.

- Every time Squanto looks into a mirror, it shatters. Even a mirror is not stupid enough to get between Squanto and Squanto.

- Squanto does not play on a togball team, he is the togball team.

- When life gave Squanto lemons, he made lemonade, a bone-crushing slice scimitar, a playpen for his 12 baby mammoths, and an Incinerate rune that he ate for a snack.

- Squanto doesn’t swim, the water just parts to let him through.

- On the Ice Road, Squanto does not get frostbite. Squanto bites frost.

- Squanto does not chew gum, he chews iron.

- Squanto does not put sugar in his tea, he uses naphtha.

- Squanto tried to get a haircut once. His hair grabbed the scissors and stabbed the barber in the eye.

- Squanto can punch a gelv cyclops between the eye.

- Squanto never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

- Squanto once got in a knife fight. The knife lost.

- Squanto was not born, he was created when one of Hodierna's tears fell into a vat of molten kertig.

- Squanto's tears can close the Red Spiral. Too bad Squanto never cries.

Squanto's rare metal weapons

You know that you are intrigued! You know that you want MORE SQUANTO! It is okay, we would not have it any other way. SO!! Pop on over to Squanto's rare metal weapons and learn all you ever wanted to know and more about the awesome that can only be forged at the hands of a true master! Squanto did not learn to forge... forging began with him!

Disclaimer

This profile has been brought to you by (the players of) Synamon and Allye! The content has not really been reviewed, approved or in any way endorsed by Squanto, except for when we showed it to him that one time and he was like, "OMG."

This just in! A quote from the Kaldar himself! "I am Squanto [Longstalk], and I approve this message." (He is so awesome!)