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Maudie Prudynce's<br>
Handbook of Hygienic Housekeeping<br>

Foreword

It is a scandal that so few ladies know how to run a proper
house anymore. In times past, mothers diligently instructed
their daughters and ladies mentored students in this art.
Having benefited myself from such a mentors, foremost among
them Meralla al'Tresnith of Tamsine's Rest, it is now my honor
to pass such wisdom as I can to ladies who would find such
schooling useful.

... affectionately dedicated to Hayreit Wilsen.

Introduction

Over the many decades of my life, chance and mischance have
brought me to live in all the known provinces of Elanthia,
save for Therenborough, and finally to rest in Mer'Kresh.
During this time, I have run a number of establishments which
cater to the finer classes of citizens, and which have thrived
from their benevolence and repeat custom. The intent of this
compendium is to instruct similarly situated ladies of the
importance of cleanliness and congeniality so that they too
can enjoy the prosperity that a well-ordered home brings.

There are four topics of consequence which a lady must
thoroughly comprehend in order to be successful in her
pursuits: housekeeping, health, attire, and culinary skills.
It is beyond the scope of this volume to render basic tuition
of these skills. Rather, the author presumes a certain
understanding on the part of the reader and hopes to provide
enlightenment upon obscure practices in these arts.

Housekeeping

Housekeeping is perhaps the least appreciated of these four
essential topics, as a lady frequently believes that visitors
are content solely with a savory meal and entertaining
companionship. However, a clean and stylish decor lifts the
atmosphere from one of low character to that of respectable
Quality.

Following are some methods I have found particularly useful
for problems ladies frequently encounter.

Egg stains on silver can be removed by rubbing with a salt.

Should signs of rats be found, slice several corks thinly,
about the width of a copper lirum. Stew the slivers of cork
in grease, then scatter them where the rat will be likely to
encounter them. The rat, being attracted to what it believes
a savory meal, will devour the cork, then die of indigestion.
Similarly, should you find an infestation of ants, sprinkle a
small trail of hartshorn either in their path, or in a circle
around their mound. The ants will consume the powder, which
reacts unfavorably with their internal juices and causes them
to explode.

Creaking doors are the bane of a private and restful home.
Rub a sliver of dry soap on the door hinges to correct this
problem.

Many guests will come to visit directly from their wandering
in dangerous wilderness areas, and will oftentimes be affected
by the insects found in those regions. To prevent vermin from
infesting the bedding, use mattresses stuffed with beech
leaves, which have been dried by baking. Such filling is not
only aromatic, it is also quite springy.

Health

A pure complexion and sweet personal scent assures a guest
that they are visiting a home in which their own comfort and
health is valued. While no substitute for true health,
artifice, used sparingly, can keep a lady's spirit cheerful
and help her ease into her mature years gracefully. These few
innocent practices are recommended.

Should eyebrows and eyelashes be thinning or pale, darken them
by rubbing lightly with either burnt cork or burnt cloves
until the desired shade is achieved.

To alleviate grayness from hair and pallor from skin, pour
boiling water over crushed and dried sage. Let the mixture
rest several days to ripen. Strain, and apply daily.

Beeswax melted into a several drops of almond or olive oil
will help hold curls in place and give hair a fulsome shine.

Even the happiest nature occasionally suffers from nervous
afflictions. Should a friend be feeling poorly, an excellent
remedy can be made thusly: pound several spoonsful of caraway
seeds into powder, then sprinkle with salt and grated ginger
to flavor. Spread a generous amount upon a slice of bread or
use to fill a biscuit. Soon, the individual will be much
improved and no longer require this palliative.

Chewing parsley will remove the smell of bitter onion from the
breath.

At times, friends may imbibe too heavily of strong beverages.
To alleviate the discomfort that often results, supply a small
cup of hot salted water, and an equal portion of sugared
vinegar to be drunk immediately afterward. This is best
administered in the garden.

Attire

While physical appearance is of extreme importance in the
impression a lady's guests have about her skills in
householding, a lady's raiment and her ability to care for
that of her friends' is of equal concern. As each lady should
be encouraged to cultivate her own unique style, my direction
is not toward matters of taste -- other than a passing comment
that grace is not garish. More, my purpose is to impress
again the necessity for cleanliness and quality.

Leather can be cleaned without resorting to the expense of a
leather craftsman for every small imperfection. Gentleman
engaged in professions requiring robust protection will be
appreciative of your skill. Should you find your guest's
leather items to be greasy, rub a small quantity of eggwhite
onto the spot, allow it to dry in the sun, then brush the
affected area.

A few sprigs of lavender inside the clothespress will give
personal linens a pleasant aroma and serve to mask unfavorable
bodily effusions.

To restore crispness and luster to silks, sponge the outside
of the fiber with strong fig-leaf tea, then press from the
inside with a heated iron.

Dampening petticoats and bodices before dressing will create
an attractive, snug silhouette without the unsightly wrinkles
and bulging which results from wearing too-small garments.

Culinary skills

A lady desiring the highest reputation must be vigilant in
serving only the best quality refreshments. Elegant
presentation, while effective, cannot mask souring vegetables
or rancid meat. Likewise, fine glassware does not make a fine
wine.

Frequently, visitors wish only a little wine over
conversation. Be frugal where else you can, but do not be
lured into false economy by cheap wine. Sadly, there are
roguish shopkeepers who would try to cheat honest ladies by
supplying adulterated merchandise. To test the purity of
spirits, pour some into a spoon and set fire to it. Good
spirits will burn brightly and be consumed entirely by the
flame without leaving any moisture in the spoon.

Likewise, be cautious of impure flour. To assess flour, take
a small quantity and apply several drops of lemon juice. If
the flour is tainted, the juice will bubble.

The freshness of eggs can be determined by either of these
methods: firstly, if movement can be felt when shaking an egg
then it is old; secondly, an old egg is smooth and shiny but
fresh egg is rough and dull.

Finally, there is no better meal than a trencher of boiled
cabbage and eels to fortify oneself for the evening. Yet, for
all its virtues, preparing cabbage can introduce an unpleasant
scent into the house. Dropping several whole walnuts into the
cabbage water as it boils will prevent odors.

End

Should you find this compendium to have been of use, other
volumes of interest and value by my hand include: The Meaning
of Flowers, Fan Fancy, and Recipes for Entertaining.

All are available at exclusive booksellers and choice
libraries.

Handbook of Hygienic Housekeeping (book) - Revision history

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